If loving you is wrong I don't want to be right
by tazz024
Summary: Set two years after the ending of jelly, hated the way hollyoaks finished the storyline so this is my version. I apologise if its total crap let me know what you think. May change rating to M later on. Xx
1. Chapter 1

Jen woke up feeling miserable and empty just like she had every morning for the past two years, of course she knew exactly why her life felt so incomplete like there was something important missing... or someone. It was because she no longer had Tilly.

She had stupidly thrown what she had with her carelessly to the side only focusing on her teaching career, she wished she had known then what she knew now... that nothing and no one was more important than the feisty red head but it was too little too late.

She had been arrested and lost her job but was later released without charge as Tilly had been a consenting adult over 16 at the time. She would never be able to teach again obviously but that didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. She didn't return to Hollyoaks she couldn't be bothered with the whispers and stares or people talking behind her back but most of all she had been informed by Liam that Tilly and Esther were a couple and that was what she couldn't face up to the most plus if Tilly was happy that was all Jen wanted so she decided to just stay away and let her move on with her life.

She moved to London got herself a nice flat, secured a job at a popular art gallery and kept to herself not really socialising with anyone except a couple of old school friends. She had been on a couple of dates but wasn't interested in any of them only going to stop her friends nagging her, she couldn't help but compare them to Tilly knowing without a doubt she was the only one she would ever want. So basically she had spent the last two years working and moping after Tilly daydreaming what her life could of been like if she hadn't completely fucked it up but that's all it was... a dream.

Sighing inwardly she forced herself to get out of bed and in to the shower, once she was all clean and dressed she started to make herself a coffee which was interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing caller ID showed it was Brian from work.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jen it's Brian listen you need to get here as soon as possible the big boss is coming in and he want's some of us here for a meeting."

"Ok fine it's not like I've got anything better to do."

"Always the optimist, so I'll see you in a bit yeah?"

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye."

Hanging up she grabbed everything she needed for work and her car keys and left. Arriving at work Brian ran over and began to fill her in on exactly what was going on.

"Right Mr Naylor is going to be here within 15 minutes all I know is he's called a meeting he wants us all to help on some sort of project and whoever comes up with the best ideas gets a promotion!... Managing the whole gallery!"

"Really?" Jen replied surprised.

"Yeah apparently he wants to see what we can do instead of hiring someone new for the position."

"Right, so who's in on the meeting?"

"You, Craig, Mary, John, me of course and that woman that started last week."

"Courtney?"

"Yeah that's the one, shit he's here! God I am so nervous now!"

"Stop flapping about, calm down and take deep breaths."

"I'm not in bloody labour Jen! Just shitting myself that's all."

"So that explains the smell that follows you around then." She joked.

"Your about as funny as an STD."

"Yeah well you would know."

He narrowed his eyes at her before giving her a small smile "Bitch."

Brian was one of her old friends from school he was always trying to get her to go to the gay bars with him so she could find someone, he hated to see his friend alone but knew about the whole Tilly situation so when she said no he would let it drop.

"We best get in there then Gilmore."

Once everyone had taken a seat around the table Mr Naylor cleared hs throat "Ok, so I'm going to keep this short and sweet, you all know we need a new manager and two new supervisor's as of next week. So instead of hiring someone new I want someone who already knows this place like the back of their hand, I'm going to put you in to two teams of three and I want you to plan a special night for the gallery, something to bring people in. Whatever team has the most successfull evening gets the jobs, simple. Mary, John and Craig you are in one group, Craig your up for the manager job you two for supervisor. Courtney, Brian and Jen you obviously make up the other group... Jen your up for manager. You have until thursday to plan, Craig your nights on friday Jen yours on saturday. I'll be watching and good luck." He stood and left without another word.

Brian had watched him leave "It's ok we didn't have any questions or anything." He muttered sarcastically.

"He's probably seeing how we cope with only basic information." Courtney suggested.

"Yeah maybe, it's better than thinking he's just an ignorant bastard I suppose."

Courtney didn't even smile at his joke she just went to her desk without a word, Brian raised his eyebrows at Jen who was trying her hardest to hide her own grin and whispered " Wow, stuck up her own arse this one eh?"

"Stop it you don't even know her yet." Jen said sternly

"Thank God, she strikes me as the bitchy type."

Courtney returned to them, Brian turned to her with a smile "So where shall we go to brainstorm then? Pub?"

"No I don't think that's such a good idea, we need clear heads if we're going to come up with the best idea. How about my place?"

"Er... yeah ok... if your sure."

"Of course, I'll write down the address and we can meet there later."

The rest of the day passed quite quickly for Jen she focused on doing her job well excited at the possibilty of a promotion. Later that afternoon she pulled up outside the address Courtney had given her, Brian in the passenger seat. He whistled "Wow nice place huh?"

They walked up to the door and knocked, Courtney awnsered straight away. "Hey, come on in. Make yourselves at home. Do you both want a coffee."

They both accepted and Brian was glancing at the shelves being his usual nosy self. "Hey this is a nice photo of you." He said pointing toward one of the pictures.

"Oh thanks, that's me and my partner at the beach it was taken a couple of weeks ago." Courtney replied with a smile.

She went to finish the drinks, Brian turned to Jen "Her other half is hot! Have a look!"

Jen rolled her eyes as she walked over to look "You have got to stop drooling over other people's men." She whispered.

"Fair point Jennifer but she's not with a man." He replied showing her the photo.

Jen's eyes widened as she looked at the woman next to Courtney... it was Tilly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all your reviews I love reading them and seeing what you think, hope you all enjoy this chapter just as much and sorry if its crap xxx**

Jen couldn't tear her eyes away from the photo, Courtney's long blonde hair was down past her shoulders and reminded Jen of Maddie a tiny bit but it was Tillys red hair that she focused on more, she had let it grow longer and her beautiful blue eyes still had the power to make her heart pound furiously against her chest. The couple were smiling happily at the camera Courtneys arm flung almost possesively around Tilly's shoulders pulling her close.

She couldn't believe she was standing in Tilly's girlfriends house, did she live here too maybe? Could she walk through the door any second? What would she say to her if she did? Jen had a million and one questions racing through her mind. Courtney walked back in handing them both their coffee, Jen hastily put back the photo.

"So this is a really nice place, quite big, so... do you live here on your own?" Jen asked.

"Thanks, yeah it was my parents place but they moved to Spain last year and said I could use the house."

Courtney's mobile began to ring "Excuse me for a minute guys I better get this." She apologised taking the call in to the bedroom.

"You ok Jen?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?" She lied, feeling anything but ok.

"I dunno, it's just you've gone all pale and you look like you want to throw up... Come on talk to me I can tell something is up."

"Just nervous about the job I suppose."

Brian watched her closely "Ok but if you decide you want to tell me the truth I'm always here to listen yeah?"

Jen smiled at him, he really was a good friend always there for her and never pushing her to talk when he knew she didn't want to.

"Sorry about that guys, so any ideas on what theme to go with for saturday night?" Courtney asked walking back in to the room.

Before either one could awnser she spoke again "I thought we could do a french theme, show some paintings done by french artists it's also a romantic country so couples could turn up aswell..."

Jen interrupted "The thing is the whole France and Paris thing have been done so many times, truthfully I think it's what Craig will go for. We could do an Italian night, there's more artists from Italy it's still a romantic country and we could do Italian food too."

Courtney looked slightly pissed off with Jen for shooting down her idea, the truth was she was quite an ambitious person and liked to take control and be in charge.

"Sounds good." Brian piped up "So let's arrange what paintings and artists to use and everything so we can get down the pub."

They spent the next few hours sorting everything out that they needed to, Courtney was still in a sulky mood and Jen kept getting distracted by her thoughts of Tilly, every little noise she heard outside the door made her think it was her former lover about to come in. Jen was half hopeful and half scared shitless at the chance she would come face to face with Tilly again.

When everything had been decided and they all knew what they were doing Brian suggested a few drinks in the local pub, Courtney quickly declined "No I'm going to go over everything Jen wants done make sure I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Ok, Jen you up for a few?"

"No I'm just going to go home get an early night."

"Fine I'll just drink all on my lonesome, if I turn alcoholic I hope you both know it's completely your fault." He joked "See you at work then Courtney thanks for the coffee."

"Yeah thanks Courtney... Bye then."

"Bye guys."

Jen and Brian got in her jeep "Do you want me to drop you at the pub or your place?"

"Mine please. That Courtney seems like the ambitious sort eh? Did you see the look on her face when you shot down her idea? I'd watch my back if I was you though like I said before she seems the bitchy type. What do you think?"

"I don't like her." Jen awnsered pretending to herself it had nothing to do with the fact she was sleeping with the woman she was still madly in love with.

Brian laughed "Me neither."

Jen spent the rest of the week in her flat focusing on her work trying hard not to think of Tilly and what she might be doing or who with. On friday Brian had enough of Jen refusing his invites to go out so he went over to hers and convinced her to go with him to see how Craigs night at the gallery turned out and what they were up against. When they arrived Jen saw that she was right he had gone for the Paris theme and hadn't done a very good job of it either, it was 9 o'clock and hardly anyone had shown up and there was only a few French paintings on the walls, Mr Naylor was stood in the corner looking extremely disappointed.

Nudging Jen and passing her a glass of wine Brian said happily "He don't look best pleased, he must think this night is as a complete fuck up as much as I do... either that or he looked in a mirror and saw how ugly he looks."

Jen smiled "Your always picking on him I think you have a secret crush."

"Yeah right because Frankenstein's monster is really my type. Oh look we ain't the only ones checking out our competition." He pointed over to Courtney who was talking to a tall red headed woman.

Jen almost choked on her drink, even from the back she could tell it was Tilly, her mind went blank and her heart began to race.

"...Jen? Hello? Earth to Jennifer!" Brian waved his hand in front of her face breaking her trance.

"Sorry what?"

"Are you ok?"

"Er... Yeah... You know what no I'm not, I've got to go."

"Jen wait!"

She hurried away not looking where she was going, as she neared the exit she slipped on a wet patch and fell smacking the side of her head on the floor. Brian ran over to help her up "Oh shit you ok?"

"Yeah I think so."

He burst out laughing "Jen that was some you've been framed shit, if I had a camera I would definatly be two hundred and fifty quid richer."

"Trust you to find it funny."

"Shit Jen your bleeding, we should get you checked at the hospital."

"Not so funny now eh?It's fine just drive me home please?"

"I'll do you a deal go sit in your office, let me get the first aid kit to clean you up, see how bad it is yeah?"

"Fine, just be as quick as you can." She replied reluctantly walking in to her office and sitting down. At least in here she wouldn't bump in to Tilly, she couldn't believe she had been so close to her. Wishing more than anything she could just walk up to her and tell her how she felt beg for another chance.

Ten minutes later Brian walked back in. "What took you so long? I thought you was grabbing the first aid box?" She asked noticing his hands were empty.

"I can't find it but I ran in to Courtney it turns out her girlfriends training to be a doctor so she can check you over, she's just gone to get some stuff from her car she will only be a second."

"What?! Shit! Brian tell me you kidding!"

"What's the problem? I spoke to her for a few minutes she seems really lovely unlike Courtney"

There was a knock at the door followed by Tilly walking in "Hey I got told someone's head had a fight with the floor and lost." She joked looking around.

Their eyes met and Jen saw Tilly's smile fade and the humour disappear from her eyes. Jen's first thought was of how stunning Tilly looked and how much she wanted to kiss her but when she saw the look on her face her second thought was ... 'Oh fuck!'


	3. Chapter 3

Tilly stood frozen to the spot not quite believing her eyes, after all this time of getting the brunette completely out of her system and moving on with her life... here she was. She was pulled from her thoughts and back to reality by Brian's voice.

"She wanted to just go straight home, but when I saw she was bleeding I thought it best for her to be checked over."

Courtney walked in the room "So how is the patient babe?" She asked Tilly giving her a kiss.

"...Erm..."

"Lucky Tilly was here really Jen, saves you waiting for ages to be seen at the hospital eh?

Brian watched Tilly curiously "So... are you still ok to check her over then?"

She didn't really want to get that close to Jen let alone have to touch her, she had spent a long time putting up barriers to stop herself getting hurt never letting anyone get too close and seeing as it was because of what happened with Jen that made her put them up in the first place she was hoping she didn't have the power to tear them down.

"Course she's ok with it, why wouldn't she be. She's the best in her class and she is going to be a first class doctor." Courtney said smugly.

Jen took her eyes off Tilly who was now avoiding her gaze and glanced at Courtney really wanting to stand up and give her a reason to need a doctor too, one because she had walked in and kissed Tilly causing Jens blood to boil with jealousy and two because she was talking for her, she seemed kind of clingy and possesive of Tilly and Jen hated it.

With Brian and her girlfriend watching her waiting for her to get started Tilly sighed and pulled on some medical gloves partly so she didn't have any skin on skin contact with Jen and walked over getting into professional mode and focusing on what she did best. She leant down in front of her and began to clean and examine the cut just above her temple, ignoring the look on Jen's face and concentrating only on the injury pretending she was just another patient.

Jen was shocked when Tilly came over she had been expecting her to scream and shout at her and then walk away, her heart began racing when she got closer and began cleaning the cut. Tilly's perfume filled her nostrils and she realised she still smelt the same.

'God I couldn't get her out of my head before I see her again, how the hell am I going to cope now?' She thought to herself.

"I'm going to have to put some stitches in this because it's quite deep, she should of gone to hospital really."

"I told her that but she refused and it was hard enough convincing her to get checked out before going home, she can be a right stubborn cow."

"Not changed much then." Tilly muttered to herself quietly but Jen heard her and the comment made her smile.

As she was finishing stitching Jen up Courtney began speaking to Brian "Craig's night is a complete train wreck, Mr Naylor is fuming he was on his way over to talk to him when I came in here."

"Really? I have so got to see him get put in his place."

"Oooo I'll come wth you."

Tilly's head shot up she didn't want to be left alone in the room with her former lover. "Courtney I'm nearly done here if you wait a second I'll come too."

"Oh babe I don't want to miss it, I'll meet you out there."

She left with Brian before she could reply, leaving Jen and Tilly alone. Jen saw how uncomfortable Tilly was so decided she would break the silence "... Erm... Thanks for stitching me up."

"What are you doing here Jen?"

"I work here."

"Here? With Courtney?"

"Here with your girlfriend yeah." Jen replied bitterly.

Tilly raised her eyebrows at her tone of voice but chose to ignore it, pulling out a small torch "I need to check for any signs of concussion so I'm going to shine this light in your eyes... Ok that looks fine, have you had any dizziness or sickness since you hit your head?"

"No."

"Ok then you seem fine, if you do start feeling dizzy, sick or blurry vision then get to a hospital."

She stood, removed the gloves throwing them in the bin, picked up all her medical things and left the room grateful to be putting distance between her and Jen, at least until she heard hurried footsteps behind her.

"Tilly! Wait a minute... Tilly! Can you stop please."

When Tilly still didn't stop Jen called out again "So that's it? After all this time of not seeing eachother you don't even want to talk?"

Tilly turned around "We're not exactly old friends are we Jen so let's not pretend we left on good terms."

"I'm not, it's just we're obviously going to be seeing eachother from time to time because I'm a work mate of your girlfriend..."

"No Jen we are not... I'll make sure of it."

"Why are you being like this? We can at least try to be friends can't we?"

Tilly laughed "Are you kidding me? Everytime we are around eachother it ends badly so let's just skip to the part where we don't see each other again ok?"

Jen grabbed Tilly's arm to stop her walking away and instantly felt her stomach jump, goosebumps rising on her arm and sent a shudder down her spine, all this from one small touch. Tilly pulled her arm from Jen's grasp "Don't ever touch me again."

Jen watched her walk away, knowing those feelings for the red head had failed to disappear and had only got stronger, smiling to herself Jen had a feeling from the look on Tilly's face when they touched she wasn't the only one feeling this way.


	4. Chapter 4

When Jen had returned to the group she saw Tilly talking with Brian while Courtney was busy sucking up to Mr Naylor.

"How's the head then Gilmore?" Brian called out beckoning her to join him.

"It's ok." She replied walking over her eyes on Tilly who seemed to of become very interested in the painting next to her and was examining it closely.

"Good, we'll all have to pool our money together and buy you a safety helmet or something, or maybe you could just start looking where your going." He smirked.

"Keep on and it won't just be me with an injury." She joked back.

"That's ok because I'm getting on pretty well with this doctor here" He said putting his arm over Tilly's shoulders and pulling her close. "If she did anything to this face of pure perfection you would rush to my side and fix me up wouldn't you?" He pouted and fluttered his eyelashes making Tilly giggle.

"Of course, I'm not a proper doctor yet though."

"Yeah Courtney said your still studying at Uni top of the class eh?"

Tilly blushed "She can exaggerate, I'm not as good as she makes out."

"Don't be silly, you've done a great job with Jen's head it looks very proffessional don't it Jen?"

"Yeah it does, you've done it perfectly. I owe you one." Jen said noticing Tilly still wouldn't look at her.

"Forget it, anyway Brian I best get Courtney and get going it was really nice to meet you." She smiled.

"Yeah you to beautiful, I'll see you again tomorrow anyway."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, it's our turn to host tomorrow night. Courtney said you had agreed to come along."

"Oh... yeah I did but er I've got to cover for someone at work now so I won't be able to make it." Tilly said quickly thinking of an excuse, she had actually been asked to do a shift at the club she worked at to help pay her bills and University fees, she had to refuse but now she was going to tell them she could so she didn't have to see Jen again.

"Oh that's a shame it would of been a laugh with you here. Can't you get out of it?"

Tilly smiled politely but was saved awnsering as someone came over and asked Brian for a quick word. Ignoring Jen completely she began walking over to Courtney but Jen stepped in front of her blocking her path, she tried walking round her but the brunette just got in her way again.

Tilly tutted "Do you mind?"

"Being completely ignored or being avoided?" She asked sarcastically.

"Just move out of my way Jen."

"I take it that your not coming tomorrow because of me."

"Give yourself a gold star."

"Can't we at least try to be friends?"

"Friends? We can't be anything and if you think we can then your deluding yourself, now move out of my way."

Watching Tilly leave hand in hand with Courtney Jen's face dropped which Brian noticed.

"Hey what's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you've been acting funny since we got here so what's the problem?"

"Nothing." Jen shrugged.

"Nothing to do with Courtney's girlfriend then? I've seen the way you looked at her tonight, someone has a crush on the doctor! Is it the Florence Nightingale effect?" He joked.

Jen looked at the floor avoiding his gaze and not even smiling at his joke. "Jen... Oh my God... I didn't even think... Does she remind you of the Tilly from Hollyoaks?"

Jen's eyes filled with tears that threatened to fall, doing her best to hold them back she shook her head "No, she is the Tilly from Hollyoaks."

His jaw dropped "What? That's your Tilly?"

"But she's not my Tilly is she, not anymore."

Meanwhile Tilly had dropped Courtney off, declined her invitation to stay the night and was now back in her room. Seeing Jen tonight had completely caught her off guard, she had tried hating her and was doing a good joob pretending that was exactly how she felt when in fact the truth was her heart had nearly exploded out of her chest where it was beating so fast at just the sight of her. Those deep chocolate eyes that she could just fall in to stuck in her mind and her smell... God she had forgotten how good she smelt. But she knew she couldn't go there again it always ended up with her getting hurt, she had spent the last two years trying to forget Jen, endless nights of one night stands love them and leave them becoming her motto. Then she met Courtney and thought she was fun and wanted something casual like she did but lately Courtney was pushing for them to be more serious which wasn't what Tilly wanted at all.

Throwing herself on her bed she groaned in frustration at the train wreck that was her love life, convincing herself that all she had to do to forget about Jen was stay away from her she finally fell asleep.

The next night Jen's turn at hosting at the gallery had been a major success and Mr Naylor had informed them they all earned their promotions.

"We should go for a drink this is definatly a reason to celebrate." Brian suggested.

Jen laughed "Putting your shoes on the right feet is a reason for you to celebrate you pisshead."

"Oi! I resent that, I'm not a pisshead I just indulge in the odd beverage."

"Also known as drinking the bar dry."

Courtney laughed "I know the perfect club, ever been to Desire?"

"The gay bar? No, I've never been able to get in, can you?"

"Yeah I go most weekends, come on let's go."

After a lot of persuading Jen agreed to go for one drink, the bouncer on the door nodded to Courtney and let them all straight in.

"You should get the first round for your employees Miss Manager." said Brian

"Fine." Jen replied rolling her eyes. "What do you both want?"

"Beer please."

"Vodka and coke thanks."

Jen walked up to the bar which was packed out, squeezing past people she finally reached the front.

"What can I get ya?"

Jen looked up at the sound of the voice she knew so well, Tilly hadn't noticed her yet but looked up when Jen hadn't awnsered. "Oh for fuck sake, are you kidding me?"

Jen raised her eyebrows "Twice in two nights? Some people would call it fate."

"Yeah and others would call it bad fucking luck."

"I prefer the fate one."

"Whatever. So... What can I get ya?"

"I suppose another chance is out of the question?"


	5. Chapter 5

Tilly was shocked at Jens forwardness and made the mistake of making eye contact with her causing her to become momentarily speechless, drowning in those dark eyes that had always pulled her in so easily. She hated the fact Jen could still have this effect on her after all this time, it wasn't fair and she was determined not to let it happen anymore. Pulling herself together she focused on resisting the urge to feel those perfect lips on hers "I would rather rip my tongue out and nail it to the wall than give you another chance."

"If you did that then how would you say all these insults your throwing at me."

"You wouldn't have to hear them if you did as I asked and just stayed away from me."

"Actually it was your girlfriend that suggested we come here, we're celebrating seeing as we all got a promotion."

"Still all about your career then?"

"That's not fair."

Tilly glared at her "Fair? Are you kidding? Were you fair back in Chester?"

Jen looked guiltily at the floor not really sure what to say so she remained silent.

"That's what I thought and you should look ashamed of yourself, now order what drinks you want then stay the fuck away from me."

"Tilly... please... I'm sorry for what I did... The person I became but..."

"But what? You've changed now? That's not you anymore? I don't want to hear it, I'm not the slightest bit interested. As for your apologies you can shove them where the sun don't shine, you've said sorry to me so many times you may as well of had it stamped on your forehead Jen but instead of learning from your mistakes you make the same ones all over again. Everytime you asked me for another chance I gave it to you just for you to fuck it up and after two years you think you have the right to ask again? Well here's some news for you 'Miss Gilmore' I'm no longer that person that followed you around like a little lap dog waiting for the tiniest bit of attention from you, hung on your everyword and did everything you said. Now I see you for what you really are... A cold hearted bitch who only gives a shit about herself and do you know what? I don't want to be around you one second longer than I have to so get someone else to serve you your drinks." Throwing Jen a nasty look before she walked away.

Jen stood hugging herself as if she were cold, Tilly's words had cut through her like a knife, tears began to well up in her eyes as she turned around, unable to hold them back she rushed out of club without saying goodbye to anyone and drove home.

Tilly didn't let herself feel guilty about what she had said to Jen it needed to be done and if she had began seeing her more often she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to keep pushing her away and resisting her.

Courtney appeared in front of Tilly."Hey babe, guess what?... I got the supervisor job at work!"

"Really? That's great congratulations."

"Thanks, have you seen Jen? The dark haired woman that you stitched up last night. She's supposed to be getting the drinks in."

"Er... No sorry I haven't." She lied.

"Oh ok, I guess she went home then bit rude of her if you ask me. When do you finish?"

"I'm just finishing now actually."

"Want to celebrate with me and Brian then?"

"Brian's here? Yeah that will be great."

"So it's not me you want to spend time with it's Brian?" Courtney smiled.

"Don't be silly, he's a laugh I like him that's all."

"Are my ears burning? Hello again Miss red, what are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining of course."

"Hey Brian, I work here."

"Ooooh, have you seen Jen she was supposed to grab the drinks?"

"Nope sorry."

"She must of just gone home."

"Yeah, it's not like her to leave without saying goodbye that's all. I'll go check on her in the morning." He said thinking that maybe she had seen Tilly working there and snuck out to avoid having to see her and Courtney together.

The three of them spent the night drinking and laughing, Courtney getting jealous at how well Tilly and Brian were getting on, as if they had been friends for years. She tried convincing Tilly to spend the night at her place but she wanted to stay out longer causing Courtney to go home in a strop.

"Don't you want to go after her?" Brian asked.

"No, just let her get on with it."

He laughed "Wow it must be love."

"Er... no it's not, far from it actually... just a bit of casual fun."

"Really? She makes out it's more than that."

"Yeah well that's Courtney for ya, anyway you want another drink?"

"Yeah great." He watched her walk to the bar and wanted to bring up the subject of her and Jen but knew it was none of his buisness, he could however let Jen know that Tilly and Courtney wern't serious.

The next morning Jen turned up for work moody and miserable still hurting from her conversation with Tilly the night before. Brian watched her walk toward him. "Where did you get to last Gilmore?"

"Home, I didn't feel like celebrating. You look like shit so I take it you had a good time?"

"I did indeed, Courtney left earlyish too so me and the lovely Tilly carried on until the early hours. I got to hand it to you, you have good taste, she's stunning, funny, smart."

"You hung out with Tilly?"

"Yeah, Jen listen she is a goodun why don't you try and get her back?"

"She's with Courtney and..."

"Yeah but when me and Tilly spoke last night she said they wern't anything serious, so go for it."

"She's not interested Brian..."

"You don't know until you try."

"I did try, last night and trust me she's not interested, I fucked up one time to many. She told me a few home truths... she hates me Brian. I've lost the best thing to ever happen to me and it's my own fault."

Brian watched her break down in tears comforting her as best as he could, he had never seen her this cut up about someone before and he couldn't stand it. He decided that the time had come to talk to Tilly about Jen, see how she truly felt and maybe bang their heads together.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews they really make me wanna write more and also I just like reading them, hope you enjoy this chapter! ;-) xxx**

It had been a week since Brian had watched Jen break down in to tears over Tilly telling him exactly what had happened the night she ran out the club and everything Tilly had said, he had tried catching her at her work but she wasn't there on the days he went in and he didn't have her mobile number or know where she lived, he didn't dare ask Courtney who had been in a foul mood since their night out. She had confided in Brian that Tilly hadn't wanted to spend any time with her for the past week claiming she was too busy, it seemed Jen wasn't the only one pining after the red head.

Tonight he decided to try again and was rewarded as he saw a flash of red hair behind the bar, smiling to himself he made his way through the crowd and waited for Tilly to notice him.

"Hey Brian! How you doing?"

"Good thank you beautiful, you ok?"

"Yeah I'm great thanks. What do you want to drink?"

"Er... I'll have a bacardi and coke thanks."

"Coming right up."

"So... I hear you've been blowing Courtney out for the last week?" He stated as she placed his drink in front of him.

"Huh? How did you... Oh she been moaning to you?"

"Big time." He laughed.

Tilly rolled her eyes and sighed "She wants us to be serious and I don't, I thought some time apart would be good for her but obviously not."

"Looks like your going to have to suck it up and spell it out to her, personally I don't know why you got with her in the first place... you can do so much better."

Tilly laughed "You trying to get a drink on the house or something?"

"Depends... Is it working? I'm serious though your funny, smart, beautiful and Courtney... Well Courtney..."

"Is uptight, possesive and clingy?"

"Bingo... see I said you was smart."

"Your right about one thing... I am going to have to have a chat with her."

He smiled sympatheticaly at her "Good luck."

"Thanks. Anyway I better get back to work."

"Yeah sure, listen I actually came in to see if you wanted to go for lunch tomorrow?"

"Yeah ok, that will be nice."

"Great! Write down your moblie number so I can actually get hold of you when I want and I'll give you a call where and when to meet if that's ok?"

"Sounds good." She wrote her number on a napkin and handed it to him.

"See you tomorrow then."

Tilly woke up in her room the next day with the sun shining through her window, it was a nice hot day so after a shower and brushing her teeth she dressed casually in a small pair of shorts and a white vest top, checking her reflection in the mirror before leaving to get some studying done in the library.

A couple of hours in to her revision her phone started ringing causing glares and mutterings from the other students so she quickly awnsered in a whisper.

"Hello?"

"Hey beautiful it's Brian."

"Oh, Hiya."

"You still up for some lunch then?"

"Yeah course, just tell me where and when."

"Why are you whispering? You sneaking out on a one night stand? Very dishonourable of you." He joked making Tilly laugh causing more stares and grumblings in her direction.

"No I'm in the library probably about to get lynched for making too much noise."

"Oh right, want me to come down their and take care of the moany little bastards? Give 'em a little slap?"

"Mmmmm... no it's fine, I don't think we have to resort to such drastic measures."

"Pity... Any fit men that I can drool over then?"

Tilly chuckled "I'm not exactly the best person to ask that question am I."

Brian laughed "Fair enough, listen I don't drive and I know you do so I was wondering if you could come pick me up? In return lunch is on me no arguments."

"Hey I'm not complaining, I think I'll have the lobster to start. Where are you and I'll come get you now?"

"Mmmm someone's greedy. I'm at the gallery. Actually seeing as I'm buying lunch you can come in and give me an opinion on this painting."

Tilly's stomach dropped she really did not want to go inside incase she ran in to Jen. "Erm... I'm sure you can manage that I just want to get going anyway coz I am starving. I'll just wait outside for you?"

"Please it won't take long and don't worry Courtney's not working until tonight, it's just me and Craig at the moment and his opinion ain't worth shit."

"It's just you two in?"

"Yep so pretty please?"

"Ok, I'll leave now, I won't be long see you soon."

"Bye."

She packed up her things, dropping her books back in her room and grabbing her car keys she drove to the gallery and walked inside looking around for Brian.

"Hey, Wow! Show some skin girl, you look hot!"

"I thought you were gay?" She joked.

"I am but I know a hottie when I see one, anyway in your case I may be willing to go straight."

She burst out laughing "I'm honoured."

"Come over here, take a look at this painting. I think it's great you can really see that it means something to the painter but like I said I wanted a second opinion."

Tilly's smile faded when she see the painting, it was the Gormleys at Crosby Beach and two hands intertwined one of which had bangles around the wrist.

She had been staring for a while "So? What do you think?"

"... It's good." She shrugged acting as though she wasn't bothered.

"Just good? I thought it was amazing, the detail, you can see sadness and happiness if that makes sense, like it's a great memory and a hurtful one... The manager painted it actually... The one whose head you stitched up. She told me it reminded her of the best day of her life but also of what she had lost."

Tilly didn't respond and Brian didn't want to blurt out that he knew all about her and Jen incase she thought it was a set up especially because Jen knew nothing about it. So he carried on talking. "It's of the day she met her soul mate apparently but she messed up big time blah blah blah, I will say though between you and me that in the last two years that we've been hanging out she hasn't even tried to move on, I've tried getting her to go on dates, setting her up with some great women but none are good enough. Can you imagine spending two years constantly blaming yourself for something you can't change? Punishing yourself and refusing to move on with your life because you think you don't deserve to be happy. Sorry I don't know why I ranted on like that to you, it's just she's my best friend I hate seeing her like this."

Tilly now felt incredibly guilty, Brian was right it was two years ago that everything had happened it was time to move on from it and from the sound of things Jen didn't need anyone to punish her or make her feel guilty she was doing it enough herself.

"Oh, Hey Jen! I thought you wern't in until one?"

Tilly's head shot up at the mention of Jen's name who hadn't noticed Tilly because she was looking through paperwork. "Yeah but I thought I'd make a start with this, nothing better to do." Jen replied still not looking up.

"You could come to lunch with us? I'm paying."

She finally looked up and noticed Tilly, she froze for a minute taking in how great she looked, those long legs, flat stomach, juicy lips and gorgeous eyes. Swallowing hard and trying to pull herself together she replied "I better not, got a lot to do."

She almost ran in to her office, desperate to get away from Tilly before she burst in to tears again which was all she seemed to be doing lately. A few minutes later there was a knock at her door.

Composing herself she called out "Come in."

The door opened and Tilly entered.

"Hi."

Jen couldn't believe Tilly had willingly come near her or that she was talking to her.

"... Hi..."

"Can I have a quick word?"

"Sure!... I mean yeah of course." She felt so nervous around the red head.

Tilly closed the door behind her "I just wanted to apologise for the way I spoke to you that night in the club..."

"You don't have to apologise Tilly, I deserved it."

"No, Jen, you didn't. It's been two years now and it's time we all moved on and stopped living in the past. We all make mistakes."

"Just some more than others?"

Tilly smiled "Anyway I'm sorry."

"Me too." Jen replied.

"Wow de ja vu eh?" Tilly joked remembering their last words to eachother in Chester. "Listen you should come to lunch with us, Brians paying anyway and I'd like it if we could be friends now, go for coffee every so often or whatever?"

"I would really like that... a lot." Jen beamed, she would be happy doing anything as long as it was with Tilly.

"Great so you coming to lunch then?"

"Ok."

She followed Tilly out still not able to wipe the smile off her face. Sneaking glances at the red heads backside in those shorts wasn't helping. She was glad they could be friends and was secretly hoping it was just the start.


	7. Chapter 7

They all agreed to have a pub lunch and that Tilly should drive them, on the way to her car Jen touched Brian's shoulder and spoke low so Tilly couldn't hear "What did you do?"

"What are you talking about?"

"A week ago she hated me and wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and all of a sudden she want's to be friends, you said something I know you did."

He smiled "Are you complaining?"

She grinned back and shook her head "No definatly not."

"Good... and stop staring at her arse like that your drooling in public it's almost indecent woman."

"I wasn't..."

"Don't lie to me Gilmore, your practically standing in a puddle of your own saliva." He laughed.

"Shut up."

Tilly looked behind her to see Brian laughing at Jen as she was about to call out to them to hurry up she heard someone shout her name, looking up she saw Courtney jogging towards her.

"Hey! I've been trying to ring you."

"Oh hi... I probably had no signal or something."

"Oh ok, are you here to see me? Coz your lucky I only came in to pick up a couple of things."

"No actually Brian's taking me to lunch."

Courtney looked round to see Brian and Jen, a frown forming on her face she turned back to Tilly "Let me get this straight... you avoid me for days on end, refuse my invitations to go out or even to stay over and you can't find the time. But Brian and Jen want to do lunch and your suddenly free?"

"Courtney your overreacting a bit don't you think. It's just lunch."

"Well as we haven't seen eachother for ages you won't mind me tagging along then will you."

She said looking expectingly at Brian who shrugged his shoulders "Fine wit me."

Jen just smiled and Tilly rolled her eyes at Courtney and said sarcastically "I'm overjoyed."

Getting in Tilly's car, Courtney insisting on sitting in the front, they headed off towards Brian's favourite pub that served great food and had plenty of men for him to ogle at. On the way Courtney kept putting her hand on Tilly's knee making Jen grind her teeth until Tilly sighed heavily and pushed Courtneys hand off her "I'm trying to drive here Court... so leave it out yeah?"

"Why? Was I distracting you?" She asked seductively.

"No, your arm keeps getting in the way when I'm trying to change gear."

This made Brian let out a laugh which he hastily turned in to a cough, Courtney crossed her arms over her chest and sulked the whole way there and was still unhappy as they all grabbed a seat.

"So... did you escape the library ok then? Didn't cause a riot to start or anything."

Tilly smiled at Brian "I think I just got away with it."

"Good."

They continued with polite chit chat all three of them trying to ignore Courtney's huffing. "So jen, how long you been working at the gallery?" Tilly asked taking a sip of her wine.

Jen almost forgot to awnser when she made eye contact, her heart was in her throat and she could already feel herself start to blush 'All this from just a look?' She thought to her self before stuttering out a reply.

"Erm... about... Er eighteen months... I think... yeah because Brian recommended me to Mr Naylor... so it's thanks to him I'm not waiting on tables anymore."

"Great... and you enjoy working there?"

Jen knew Tilly was secretly asking if she missed teaching because of the guilty look on her face which Jen wanted to make dissappear because the red head had nothing to fel guilty about.

"Yeah I really do, I get to be around art all day and every thursday I get to teach people to paint in one of the rooms out back, Craig teaches the beginners and I teach intermediate level."

"That's really good." Tilly smiled making Jen melt.

"Oh my God! Till's!"

Turning around to the sound of her name Tilly looked shocked then a huge grin came across her face "George! I can't believe it what are you doing here?!"

"I've just moved down this way for Uni and I had an interview for the bartender job here, fingers crossed."

"Why didn't you ring me and let me know?"

"I wanted to surprise you!"

"You definatly did that, we have to go for a drink tonight and celebrate."

"Sounds great. You've got my number." He smiled and went to leave but caught sight of Jen "Oh hey Miss Gilmore I didn't see you there."

"Hi George how are you? And you can call me Jen now." She smiled.

"I'm great thanks Miss... Er I mean Jen... so does this mean you two are back together? Starcrossed lovers and everything." He joked.

Before Tilly or Jen could even awnser Courtney stood up. "Back together? What does he mean back together? Is she your ex?"

They exchanged a glance which only angered Courtney more grabbing Tillys upper arm tightly she shouted "Don't look at her, awnser me!"

Losing her temper with the blonde's attitude and her clinginess Tilly replied angrily "Don't keep telling me what to do all the time, yeah she's an ex get over it."

Courtney looked at Jen with a look of pure hatred on her face. "No, I won't. Why didn't you say something at Craig's night about at least knowing eachother? Actually since then you've been funny with me Tilly, not wanting to meet up anymore... I thought it was because I told you I was in love with you but now... No I'm not having this somethings going on with you two still isn't it?"

"Don't be so fucking stupid."

"I'm not! Tilly you have to choose... her or me?"


	8. Chapter 8

**So sorry for the wait everyone, will start to put up chapters more often. Hope you all enjoy x**

Tilly couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, Courtney knew from the beginning that she didn't want anything serious just someone to have a laugh with and the occasional hook up nothing exclusive, she certainly didn't mean to make Courtney fall for her. "Your kidding right?"

Courtney took her eyes off Jen to glare at Tilly "Do I look like I'm joking around, now who are you going to choose?... Me?...Or that?"

"Oi! Do you mind I'm right here!" Jen said angrily.

"I suggest you keep your nose out if you like the way it looks." She threatened.

Jen stood up from the table to confront her, she wasn't going to let her talk to her like that but before she could say anything Tilly put her hand on Jen's shoulder. "Don't let her get to you just sit down."

Enjoying the feel of Tilly touching her Jen thought she would do anything the red head asked as long as she never removed her hand, all her anger faded instantly and she took a seat.

"Got your dog well trained I see." Courtney said spitefully.

Tilly stared at her with a gobsmacked look on her face "Let's talk outside."

"Why? So your precious bit on the side doesn't listen?"

"No because your making a scene and I'm not discussing this in front of everyone."

Looking around and seeing most of the pub staring at them she agreed and both of them went outside, Jen, Brian and George all had a good view of them as they were by the window. They watched as Tilly said something, Courtney shaking her head, waving her arms about then pointing towards the pub.

"Definatly talking about you Jen." Brian said cheerfully.

"Don't sound too upset about it will you."

"What can I say.. Courtney's a mental bitch, Tilly can do much better and she was going to finish with her anyway."

"Was she?" Jen asked suddenly interested, watching Brian instead of the argument outside.

"Yeah she said Courtney was getting too clingy. Funny how she's had enough when you come back on the scene eh?"

"She just wants to be friends and that's better than nothing."

"And what do you want to be?"

"So George you moved up this way now?" Jen said changing the subject.

"Yeah been here a few days now and I've already caused trouble."

"Don't worry about it you've probably done Tilly a favour... and Jen. I'm Brian by the way seeing as Jen's too busy watching a certain little red head to introduce us."

"I'm George, nice to meet you."

They shook hands politely and all turned back to watch outside again to see Courtney now crying.

"Look's like Tilly has delivered the bad news." Brian muttered.

"You don't know that for sure." Jen replied.

Courtney then slapped Tilly around the face and stormed off.

"Yeah your right it looks like Tilly proposed." He joked.

Tilly walked back in and sat down one side of her face showing a red hand print.

"You two made up did ya." Brian asked.

"Far from it, she hates me and wishes she never met me."

"Are you ok?" Jen asked.

"Yeah it was going to happen sooner or later anyway."

"Told ya." Brian mouthed to Jen.

"Anyway enough about her, did you want to meet at Desire later Georgie?"

"I heard about that club it's a gay one right? Really hard to get in to."

"I work there so I can get you in, meet outside at six? Celebrate you living here and everything?"

"Yeah sounds great. Are you two coming along too?"

"We would love too! We'll see you at six." Brian said before Jen could say anything.

"Great. I'll see you all later." George smiled giving Tilly a hug goodbye.

"I'll get us all another drink. Same again?" Tilly and Jen nodded.

"Do you mind us coming along tonight?"

"No course not, why would I?"

"I was just making sure I don't want to outstay my welcome or anything, let me know if I'm getting on your nerves or anything."

Tilly laughed "Jen your fine honestly, I'm just glad we can both move on and be friends."

"Yeah... Me too."

At 5 o'clock Brian was sitting in Jens flat waiting for her to get changed for the third time. "Jen are you bloody ready yet or what?"

She walked out of the bedroom wearing a light blue dress. "What do you think?"

"I think you look nice, just like you looked nice in the last ones. God anyone would think your meeting the Queen."

"I don't want to look nice, I want to look better than that."

"Mmm hmmm, for anyone in particular?"

"What? No... it's a gay club I might see someone I like that's all."

"You haven't been interested in dating anyone for over two years and suddenly your on the prowl? I'm not buying it honey... your only trying to impress one person, she's got red hair, training to be a doctor and goes by the name of Tilly. Just admit it."

Jen sighed "I'm just kidding myself anyway, she's never going to give us another chance. I've had too many."

"Hey, you don't know until you try right? Now go put that black dress on you look unbelievable in it and if Tilly's jaw hits the floor we know there is still feelings on her side too."

Jen smiled "Ok."

"Good now hurry up I want to get going."

They arrived ten minutes early and stood outside waiting for Tilly and George to show up, Jen fiddling about with her hair and dress.

"Will you stop fussing your making me nervous, calm down will you."

"I can't help it, I get butterflies everytime I know I'm going to see her, it just puts me on edge."

"God you got it bad woman. Look there's George."

Jen straightened up but couldn't see Tilly with him.

"Hey guys glad you made it, Till's not here yet?"

"Nope still waiting for her... some more than others."

George smiled knowing he was talking about Jen. Just then Tilly came round the corner and waved at them. "Hi, shall we go in I could do with a very large drink." She smiled.

Her eyes locked with Jens and she looked at what she was wearing "Wow... er... you look really nice."

Brian gave jen a thumbs up behind Tilly's back.

"Thank you, so do you." Jen beamed glad Tilly had noticed her efforts, her day was getting better and better.


	9. Chapter 9

Placing everybody's drink on the table Tilly took a seat next to George, Jen kept her eyes on Tilly the whole time unable to look away, she was dressed in a low cut top and a short skirt showing off long toned legs. Brian nudged Jen for a second time and whispered "Close your mouth your catching flies."

Everyone thanked Tilly for their drink, she turned to George and started a converstion "So what courses are you taking at Uni then?"

"I'm still in to my fashion designs so that's what I'm going for, I really want a job writing for a fashion magazine so I'm keeping an eye out for my dream job."

"That's great, where are you staying?"

"On a friends couch, I've been looking for somewhere else where I've got my own room so at least I'll have some privacy but everywhere I've seen is either a complete shit hole or just too expensive."

"I'll keep an ear out for you."

"Cheer Till's."

"Haven't you got a spare bedroom free Brian?" Jen asked.

"Yeah actually I had to kick the last guy out he was taking the piss with the rent, I charge fifty pound a month for gas, electric and water, you buy your own food and cook your own meals. If your interested it's yours."

"Seriously?! That sounds perfect, thank you so much."

"No problem any friend of Tilly's is a friend of mine. There is one other condition though."

"What's that?"

"You get another round in."

George laughed "It's a deal."

"Great, come on I'll give you a hand."

"You two want the same again?"

Jen and Tilly both nodded, now they were alone they smiled nervously at eachother and Jen's heart began pounding so hard against her chest she was surprised Tilly couldn't hear it.

"So... How is it? Training to be a doctor I mean?"

"Yeah it's going ok actually, I've done a few rounds at the hospital with a experienced doctor obviously, I haven't had to treat any serious injuries yet just injections, stitches and stuff."

"Are you nervous about treating someone with serious injuries?"

"No... Maybe a little."

"Just a little?"

"Yeah someone's life in my hands is not such a big deal." Tilly joked.

"So your shittin it?"

"Yeah that's one way of putting it I suppose."

They spent the next fifteen minutes chatting and making each other laugh not noticing Brian and George watching them at the bar purpously staying away to give them time to talk. They were interuppted by a tall, slim dark haired woman who was smiling down at them.

"So Tilly, word is your single now. You finally got rid of Crazy Courtney huh?"

"Hi Karen... er ... yeah we broke up."

"Her loss is our gain, so this means your back on the market then?"

"Back on the market? I'm not a house."

"I didn't mean it like that... I just meant... Let me take you out for dinner, I garauntee you'll have a good time." She said confidently.

"Er... Karen I can't... see the thing is..." She looked at Jen helplessly, trying to think of a reason not to go out with Karen without being rude.

"I don't mean to be rude but do you mind not asking her out when she's on a date with me." Jen said as politely as she could, when all she wanted to do was tell her to fuck off.

"Oh... right... Sorry I didn't know, enjoy your date then I guess. I should of known you wouldn't be single for long. I'll see you around." She smiled sadly at Tilly then got up and walked back to the bar.

"Sorry you seemed uncomfortable and I couldn't think of another way to get you out of it, I hope you didn't mind."

"No not at all you did me a massive favour actually... So thank you."

"No problem... Anytime."

Brian and George came back with their drinks both had big smiles on their faces because of how well the two women seened to be getting along.

"Hey what took you two so long? And why are you both so happy?" Tilly asked.

"We were just talking about the flat and I told George here about Jen's head getting overly friendly with the floor at work." Brian laughed.

"Not funny." Jen scowled.

Everybody laughed at the look on her face, George stopped first and whispered "Tilly your ex is on her way over here and she looks like she want's an argument."

Tilly looked in the direction he was pointing. "Oh great."

Courtney walked straight up to Tilly and threw a drink in her face. "You are nothing but a cheating, lying little whore and don't try denying it again because Karen's told us all about your stupid date."

Tilly wiped her face with a napkin trying to keep calm. "Courtney I suggest you walk away now. It hasn't even got anything to do with you so just piss off and get on with your life and let me get on with mine ok."

"You think you can just treat me like crap and I'll just accept it? I will get you back for this."

"Seriously I'm scared however will I sleep."

"You sarcastic cow."

"And your a clingy bitch we all have our faults..."

Courtney slapped Tilly across the face for the second time that day and Tilly lost her temper, quickly standing up she slapped her back and it soon turned in to a full blown fight. Jen pulled Tilly off Courtney and a bouncer held on to the blonde.

"What happened? Who started it?" He asked.

Everybody backed Tilly up confirming Courtney had slapped her first and she was only defending herself, so he escorted Courtney out of the club telling her not to bother coming back again.

"Till's your bleeding." George said pointing at her face.

"Shit, I'll go to the ladies and clean myself up, I won't be long."

She looked in the mirror when she was in the toilets and saw deep scratches down the left side of her face that were bleeding and a cut lip which she must of got when Courtney's ring caught her.

Not long after she had finished cleaning the scratches Jen entered and watched her with a worried look on her face "Are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"That looks sore."

"I'm more worried about catching something actually." Tilly joked trying to lighten the amosphere. When Jen had held Tilly both of them had shuddered and their stomachs had done a backflip, Jen had felt Tilly stiffen and had heard her breathing speed up and Tilly knew it.

Jen watched as Tilly gently dabbed at her lip not putting enough pressure on it.

"Let me do that."

"No it's ok I can do it..."

"Your not doing it properly."

"Thank you doctor Gilmore, for your information it hurts and I'd prefer it not to sting anymore than it has to."

"That's why you should let me do it, this way it will get done quicker."

"... Yeah ... Ok." Tilly replied a bit apprehensive at the thought of being so close to the brunette. She handed over the cream and cotton pad. Their fingers brushing against the others and causing more sparks between them.

Jen started to clean Tilly's bottom lip, mezmerised by how perfect and full they were she wanted nothing more than to lean down and pull them against her own, she could still remember how it had felt when she last kissed her, looking in to those gorgeous blue eyes and seeing Tilly staring intently back at her she wondered wether she should just go for it.


	10. Chapter 10

Taking a deep breath and gathering all of her self control Jen forced her eyes away from Tilly's and focused on finishing cleaning her cut lip, thinking that it was to soon to try anything seeing as Tilly had only decided to be friends that morning and had got out of a sort of relationship in the afternoon.

"There you go, all done." Jen smiled avoiding prolonged eye contact as she wasn't sure she had the strength to stop herself a second time.

"Thanks." Tilly looked in the mirror at her injuries "Wow you did a pretty good job."

"Do you think I'd be able to make it as a nurse?" Jen joked

"I'll be sure to put a word in for you, best lip cleaner this side of the country." Tilly laughed.

"I think I'll just stick to what I know." She smiled "Anyway I don't think I would look right in a nurses uniform it's not really me is it."

Tilly's mind wandered to how Jen would look in a nurses outfit just not the one they had at the hospital. Swallowing hard at the thought she did her best to push it away to the back of her mind not that it stayed there long. She thought it would be relatively easy to be just friends with Jen after all this time but everytime she had caught Jen looking at her and had seen that smile her stomach had done back flips. In her head she wanted them to be only friends so she was safe from being hurt again but as she looked in to Jen's eyes and her smiling face, Tilly knew that her heart was disagreeing with that decision. She must of been lost in her thoughts for longer than she realised because Jen was waving a hand in front of her face.

"Earth to Tilly... you ok?"

"What? Oh yeah I'm fine ... I was just thinking that's all. We better get back to George and Brian before they start to miss us and fall apart completely."

"That's men for you though."

Tilly laughed "That why I'm so glad that I'm gay."

'So am I' Jen though as she watched her walk out the toilets.

They got to the table to see George and Brian getting on brilliantly laughing and joking like old they were old friends, George looked up to Tilly "You ok?"

"Yep all cleaned up."

"Good, I can't believe how much Courtney over reacted, what did you even see in her?"

"I don't know, she used to be up for a laugh... actually enjoyed having fun."

"So she was good in bed then?"

Jens insides churned the thought of Tilly with someone else made her want to punch something or throw up, she really didn't want to the hear the awnser but before she could change the subject Tilly had started to talk.

"I don't know." She said shrugging.

Every body frowned at her. "What do you mean you don't know?" Brian asked slightly puzzled.

Tilly sighed "God your a nosy lot ain't ya."

"Well can you blame us? How can you not remember? Was it so horrible that you blocked it from your memory?" Brian teased.

"I was just drinking a lot all the time I was around her so I don't really remember much, I was only completely sober for the past couple of weeks to tell the truth."

Brian burst out laughing "So the only time you haven't been pissed out of your face is since two weeks ago and in that time you were avoiding her anyway?"

Tilly thought about it then joined in laughing "Yeah I guess that's true."

"She obviously wern't the right person for you then Till's."

"I knew that from the beggining George, I'm wasn't looking for someone to settle down with you know. Right my round then everybody want the same?"

Brian and George nodded.

"No I'm fine thanks... actually I think I'm going to head off guys, I'm not feeling too good, thanks for inviting me though George."

"No problem, it was actually fun." He smiled.

Jen said her goodbyes and walked out of the club lost in her thoughts until she heard someone shouting her name, turning around she saw Tilly jogging towards her so she stopped walking and waited for her to catch up.

"Hey Brian told me to give you this." She said catching her breath and holding out Jen's purse.

"Oh! That was lucky, thank you."

"No problem ... your leaving quite early is everything ok?"

Jen fiddled with her hands wondering if she should say her thoughts out loud and if she really wanted to hear the truth.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did so I'm assuming you can." Tilly smiled which Jen didn't return. "What's up?"

"What you said about always being drunk with Courtney... did that happen a lot? .. With other people I mean."

Tilly frowned at her, did she think she could come back in to her life and start poking her nose in, asking personal questions, probably judging her for her lifestyle. All these thoughts began to make Tilly angry not helped by the fact she had realised she still had strong feelings for Jen and hated it or that she had had a bit too much to drink.

"I'm not being funny but what has it got to do with you?"

Jen's face dropped "I just want to know if it's because of me? Because of how I treated you? ... You obviously close yourself off to everyone, since I've seen you again you've shown anger but nothing else when you smile it doesn't even reach your eyes anymore like it used to before, you've changed..."

"One, I don't close myself of to anyone ok I'm just me." Tilly lied she knew all to well that she hadn't let anyone get close since Jen, if she didn't let anyone have her heart then it couldn't get broken. "Two, the only way I've changed is I'm not a pathetic teenager who spends her time craving your attention and three don't flatter yourself thinking you've made any kind of impact on the way my life is nowadays ... I got over you a long time ago."

Holding back her tears yet again Jen spoke quietly. "You made it quite clear before that I was no longer an important part of your life Tilly and I know that you will never forgive me or give me another chance, trust me you've convinced me ok? I was just asking if what I did had made you push people away never letting them get close ... but I see now that I was so unimportant to you there's no way I could of been responsible for the way you close yourself off from anybody... "

"I DON'T! Stop thinking you know me Jen ... the lovesick teenager you knew is gone... you can't read me like a book anymore ... you made people's lives hell for your own personal goals, your a selfish bitch and I wish I'd never met you." Tilly's anger was bubbling over as she tried to change her lust to hate and her mouth was running away from her.

"Tilly! ... I thought you at least wanted to be friends?"

"Yeah well we all make mistakes don't we ... especially in your case."

Jen's heart ached she had just got her back in her life only to lose her the same day. "Fine... if that's really what you want I'll stay away from you."

"Yeah it is." Tilly replied spitefully.

Jen turned away before the tears fell and walked sobbing to her car, starting the engine and driving home her heart hurting more than it had for the past two years.


	11. Chapter 11

**thanks 4 all your lovely comments I really appreciate them and here's another chapter for ya 2 make up for all the times u had to wait ages xx cheers again xx**

Jen spent the next few days throwing herself in to her work grateful that Courtney had taken a week off so she didn't have to put up with her and her nights were spent alone in her flat, phone off and crying in to her pillow.

Brian was watching Jen from across the gallery she had hardly spoken to him since their night out and Tilly had returned to the club miserable, drunk her own body weight in alcohol and passed out leaving George to get her back home safely.

"Hey Gilmore! You alright babe? You don't look all that great you know."

Jen glanced at him and forced a small smile. "I'm fine."

"... Jen what happened the other night you left so quick and when Tilly came back in she seemed upset."

"Tilly was upset?"

"She didn't say but it was pretty obvious as she drank herself stupid."

"Did she ... did she go home with anybody?" Jen spoke quietly praying that she hadn't.

"George took her home, if you mean did she go with another woman then no she didn't even though she had plenty of offers once you had left but she wasn't interested."

"Well it's none of my buisness anyway is it."

"What do ya mean? I thought you were crazy about her?"

"I am ... but she told me she wished she never met me and made a mistake wanting to be friends ..."

"Why? She couldn't of just thought it something else must of happened."

"I asked if she had drunk sex with all of the people she had been with not just Courtney."

Brian looked at her gobsmacked. "Jen! ... No wonder she got angry you don't just say stuff like that! She probably thought you were implying she's some sort of slut that just sleeps around with everybody."

"Well I can't undo it now can I." She put her head in her hands. "Why do I always have to fuck up."

Brian pulled her in to his arms, hugging her tightly and kissed her head. "Blimey Jen, your boiling!"

"Yeah I haven't felt right today, I feel a bit sick and tired I think it's just stress."

"Go home, get something to eat then climb in to bed. I'll cover for you here, no arguments just go, I'll pop by yours and check on you later ok?"

"Yeah ok. Thanks Bri your lovely for doing this."

"Bit slow on the update ain't ya most of London know I am an amazing guy." He teased making Jen crack a smile.

That evening at the library Tilly was doing her best to revise for a test she had next week but all that kept popping in to her head was the look on Jens face when she had said all those nasty things to her. She did regret being so cruel that night, she just lost her temper at what Jen was saying, knowing Jen she probably didn't realise how it had sounded, Tilly could still see the image of her walking back to her car shoulders shaking from the tears that would of been falling, it had been over three days and Tilly still hadn't found the courage to go to the gallery and apologise, she was kind of scared that Jen wouldn't accept it.

While reading through her notes about brain injuries her phone began vibrating in her bag, grabbing it she saw Brian's name flashing on the screen.

"Hey Brian." She whispered

"Hey doc, you in the library again then?"

"Yep, so what's up?"

"Are you busy for the rest of the evening?"

"Not really, I can't concentrate on revising anyway."

"So can I ask you a big favour?"

"Course."

"Can you come to Jen's if I give you the address? She wasn't well at work and when I came to check on her after I'd finished my shift she was worse , throwing up and her tempreture was through the roof so I called out a doctor, he said she had some sort of virus and wanted her to go to hospital but she refused, she hasn't stepped foot inside one since her grandad died. Anyway the doctor said she needs to have someone with her for a couple of days make sure she keeps her fluids up and try and get her to eat something."

"Her grandad died?"

"Yeah she was really cut up about it."

"They were really close wernt they?"

"Yeah big time ... So can you help? I would do it but with her ill I have to run the gallery. Please you'll be doing us a massive favour? She's asleep most of the time the medications pretty much knocking her out."

Tilly thought about saying no but the thought off Jen laying in bed ill no one to help her played on her mind to much and she was wrong the other night and needed to grow up and apologise maybe this would help show that she really was sorry, even though she didn't want to admit it to herself she just wanted an excuse to see her as she had been on her mind constantly for the past few weeks plus she had really missed her these last few days.

"What's the address and what time do you need me there?"

"Cheers my lovely, you are a life saver."

He told her the address and asked her to get there as soon as she could, so going back to her room for a change of clothes and grabbed a load of books so she could get some work done while she was there. Getting in her car she drove to the address Brian gave her, it seemed a nice quiet area, seeing a light on in the flat Tilly got out locked her car door, walked a few steps took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves and knocked the front door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's the next chapter had a bit of difficulty with this one. So I hope I've done an ok job. Thank you for all of your reviews. Jelly4ever I am honoured! Thank you! x**

Brian opened the door and smiled when he saw it was Tilly, he stepped aside so she could walk in. "Thank's for doing this Tilly, she's asleep still at the moment but you've got to wake her up in an hour and a half to give her the medicine he left her, she can take some more pain killers then aswell if her stomach still hurts. Make sure she is drinking enough ... well your a doctor you know what else to do right?"

Tilly nodded "Yeah don't worry, I'll take care of her."

Brian smiled again hoping that Tilly would take the job of caring for Jen permanently because they would make such a great couple if Tilly would stop being so stubborn and Jen stopped being consumed by guilt and to scared to make a move. Noticing the bruises on her face he grimaced. "Wow Courtney's left her mark, that one under your eye looks sore."

"Yeah that ones my favourite." Tilly joked making him laugh.

"Right I'll leave you to it, call me if anything changes yeah?"

"Yes I promise."

"Great I'll see you later then."

"Bye." She replied as he left closing the door behind him.

Tilly looked around the front room at all the paintings on the wall she could tell most were done by Jen and there was a few of Crosby Beach. There was a sofa and chair all facing the television and a table in the middle of the room. Walking in to the kitchen she saw a pad of paper on the side with 'ROUGH DRAWINGS' written on the front, she was very tempted to flip through it but thought it might be private so decided not too.

Going back in the front room she pulled out her books and started to get on with revising which was harder than she expected as the thought of Jen being in the next room was kind of distracting, she set an alarm on her phone for half ten when it would be time for Jen's medication and focused as much as she was able to.

While she was engrossed in the section about functions of the heart she heard a tiny beeping sound and was looking everywhere to see where the noise was coming from only to realise a few minutes after it was her phone and the time had come to wake up Jen.

Filling up a glass of water and picking up the bottle of pills which were just for sickness, Tilly quietly knocked on Jens bedroom door and opened it, walking in she saw Jen spread across the bed her hair sticking to her face from where she had been sweating because of her fever and she looked so pale.

Stroking the hair out of her face Tilly held on to it for longer than was necesary, rolling it between her fingers remembering how soft it had always been and how she could play with it for hours. Jen began to stir at Tilly's touch making her withdraw her hand quickly, waking up slowly Jen's eyes made contact with the red heads.

What was Tilly doing here? She had said she wanted nothing to do with her anymore so why was she in her bedroom? Was she still asleep and this all a dream? She pinched herself and it hurt quite a bit which ruled out the whole dreaming scenario.

Tilly chuckled as she saw Jen pinch herself. "What? Do you think your still asleep?"

"It had crossed my mind." Jen said quietly.

"What am I? A normal dream or nightmare?" Tilly joked

"Neither ... Tilly what are you doing here?"

"Brian called me ... He said you were ill and he needed to be at the gallery but couldn't leave you on your own, so he asked me to help out." Tilly shrugged.

"So your only here because you wanted to help out Brian?" Jen asked feeling hurt inside.

"... No not just because of him. I wanted to check that you was ok ... And ... Also to apologise ... for what I said the other night ... I didn't mean any of it Jen, I'm stupid and a complete bitch and I'm sorry."

Jen smiled "Are you apologising while I'm not a hundred percent so I can't kick you out of my place?"

Returning the smile Tilly teased "You wish ... even if you wern't ill you wouldn't be able to make me leave."

"Er ... excuse me if I'd kick your butt woman."

"Wow Brian said you was sick and had a tempreture he never said nothing about being delusional."

Jen burst out laughing making Tilly's heart skip a beat.

"Erm ... here take two of these ... does your stomach still hurt?"

Jen shook her head swallowing the tablets and drinking the water. "No, I think that was just from being sick so much it made my throat hurt too."

"Ok, do you think you could eat something?"

Jen's stomach rumbled making them both smile at eachother.

"Anything you fancy in particular?"

'You.' Jen thought but out loud she said "I don't really mind."

"Ok, I'll just do scrambled egg on toast then, it's quick and easy. Open your gob please."

"What for?"

"To take your tempreture genius."

"Oh."

Popping the thermometer under Jen's tongue Tilly left the room to start her dinner, she was kind of glad to get out of the room it was getting harder to control herself around Jen, thinking she would just concentrate on making sure Jen was ok and acting like a doctor.

Placing everything on a plate and stirring the tea she had made she walked it all in to Jen.

"Thanks Tilly ... Didn't you want anything?"

"It's nearly eleven Jen, I already ate earlier." Till replied examining the thermometer she had taken from Jen's mouth. "Your tempreture is only slightly higher than it should be. Your recovering quickly."

"Not really the doctor said it was a twenty four hour virus that's been going around."

"What? Brian made out you were at deaths door and the doctor wanted you to go to hospital."

"Yeah he did but only because I was dehydrated and he wanted to put me on a drip, my heart rate was slightly faster aswell."

Tilly began mumbling about Brian under her breath. She then checked Jen's pulse, placing two finger's on her wrist and watching the second hand on her watch.

As she felt Tilly touching her, her heart beat sped up and she couldn't slow it back down. Tilly frowned. "Well your heart rates still quite fast actually, I don't understand if your tempreture has gone down then so should..." She stopped talking when she noticed Jen was blushing and had become very interested in her plate.

"I feel much better so you can go home if you like. Sorry Brian made it sound worse than it was." Jen mumbled still embarresed

At that moment Tilly realised she didn't really want to leave.

"Nah it's ok I'll stay just incase it gets worse again. If that's alright?"

"Yeah of course!" Jen said enthusiasticly.

They spent the next couple of hours talking and watching T.V in Jen's room, Tilly sitting on the other side of the bed. Just after 2am Tilly noticed Jen try and stifle a yawn "Right I'll let you get some sleep..."

"What? No I'm not tired yet."

"Liar." Tilly smiled "Your either tired or bored and I'd be a lot less offended if you were tired. I'll go get on with some more revising anyway, call me if you need anything."

"Ok, thanks."

"No problem." She said as she walked out and in to the front room.

The next morning Jen woke feeling much better and heard Tilly clattering around in the kitchen singing along with the radio. Smiling to herself at the thought of Tilly making herself at home and just being back in her life even if it was just as friends.

Hearing a soft knock at her door she called out "Come in."

Tilly entered "Hey, how you feeling? You look much better."

"Yeah I think I'm ok now."

"Good, breakfast will be ready in 10 minutes so you've got time for a shower if you want? I grabbed one earlier I hope that's ok?"

"Yeah it's fine ... Er what are you trying to say?"

"That you smell." Tilly smirked.

"Charming, I better get one then hadn't I."

Tilly held her nose and nodded making Jen chuckle.

"Let me now when your done and I'll bring it in."

Fifteen minutes later Tilly handed over a fry up that smelt amazing.

"Wow this looks great, thank you."

"Just make sure you eat it all, keep your strength up."

"You still not eating?" Jen asked digging in suddenly starving.

"Nope I've got to get to Uni, just waiting for Brian, he said he's gonna pop in before work to make sure your ok."

"Oh ok. We should do this again though ... soon."

"What? You get ill and me waiting on you hand and foot like some sort of servant?"

Jen smiled "Slave actually I have no intention of paying you."

"Right just for that I'm taking some toast." Tilly said leaning across the bed and grabbing a slice.

"Oi! You thief!" Jen laughed trying to grab the toast back accidently knocking the arm that was holding up Tilly making her fall on top of Jen.

The laughter died instantly, their faces only inches apart looking in to eachothers eyes. Jen could hear her heart thumping so loudly it filled her ears, hearing Tilly's breathing speed up she took it to mean the red head was having just as much trouble with her feelings as she did.

Reaching up and stroking Tilly's face, she pulled her down slowly not taking her eyes off of hers looking for any sign that she wanted her to stop and finding none. Instead Tilly ran her hands through Jen's hair and closed her eyes as their lips were about to meet.

"Jen! I picked you up a few things from the shop!"

They both jumped, Tilly stood up so quickly it was like she had been burned just as Brian walked in to the bedroom. "I've got you all the essentials. So your feeling better huh?"

"Er yeah..."

"Good. Hey Till's want a cup of coffee."

"Hi, no ... I've got to get going."

"Ok." he smiled walking back to the kitchen.

"Tilly ... wait ..."

"I've really got to go Jen ... otherwise I'm going to be late ... I'll see ya." She said rushing out and leaving her stuff behind.

"When did she get a rocket installed up her butt?" Brian joked.

Jen ignored him and threw herself back on to her pillows. They were so close to kissing she had felt Tilly's breath on her face, her frustration turned in to happiness as she realised... Tilly had wanted to kiss her to.


	13. Chapter 13

Jen couldn't get Tilly out of her head for the next couple of days, Brian had tried to organise them all to go for another drink last night to celebrate Jen feeling back to normal that was the excuse anyway but Tilly had said she was too busy revising, Jen was almost certain she was lying as all her books and notes were still at her flat sitting in the frontroom.

Sitting behind her desk in her office Jen was distracted from her thoughts by Brian waving his hand in front of her face.

"Oi! Ignorant."

"What? sorry?"

"What is wrong with you? You've been like this for days now."

"Nothing I was just thinking that's all."

"I bet I can guess what about... or should I say whom." Brian mumbled.

Jen gave him a look.

"Don't look at me like that, we both know your mind is on Tilly. So what's happened now?"

"Nothing we were just getting along really well ... almost back to how we used to be."

"Almost? OMG! Did you two have a little lesbien moment? Spill! I want to hear everything." He said sitting on the edge of the desk.

"It was nothing." Jen said unconvincingly unable to stop the smile from spreading across her face at the memory of their lips so agonisingly close.

"Bull shit! I might of believed you if you didn't have a foot long grin on your face. Did you kiss?"

"No ... but we might of if you hadn't of interrupted us."

"NO! Jen I'm so sorry."

"You should be." she said with a smile. "She was in such a hurry to leave that she left all her stuff at mine."

"Did she now? Then you should get her to pick them up."

"I've got no way of getting hold of her."

Brian grinned. "Worry no more Jennifer your fairy godmother is here."

Jen laughed "Your my fairy godmother?"

"Yeah so? Look if your expecting the pink fluffy dress, fairy wings and magic wand then your out of luck ... I only wear them on the weekends."

"Right, so what exactly are you going to do?"

"I am going to give you this." He replied handing over a piece of paper.

Tilly was in her room finishing off some coursework when her phone rang the screen flashing a number that she didn't recognise, frowning to herself she awnsered it.

"Hello?"

After a few seconds of silence she repeated herself.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

"... Sorry, Tilly it's Jen."

Tillys heart went to her throat, she sat frozen as she heard the voice of the person she had been avoiding and how did she even get her mobile number.

As if she had read Tilly's mind Jen began speaking again. "Brian gave me your number, I hope you don't mind it's just I needed to speak to you."

'Oh god please don't mention the other night' She thought to herself, out loud she said "What about?"

Jen heard the nervousness in Tilly's voice and thought it best to talk to her face to face that way Tilly wouldn't be able to put the phone down.

"Erm ... You left all your revision things around mine and I thought you might want to pick them up later?"

"I can't tonight I'm working." The truth was she could easily pick them up as she was only covering someones shift for an hour.

"Oh ... Ok well just let me know when."

"I will."

"Ok ... Bye then."

"Bye." Tilly replied quickly ending the call and laying back on her bed, hands over her eyes and groaning. She had come so close to kissing Jen the other night, had wanted to so badly but she couldn't risk it happening again, Couldn't risk the heartache when Jen would hurt her again because that's what she knew would happen. Glad they were friends Tilly didn't want to ruin that she would just have to make sure they wern't left alone together anymore.

As she walked in to the club to start work one of the first things she saw was Jen and Brian sitting at the bar, to avoid them seeing her she headed toward the staff door near the mens toilets and bumped in to George.

"Oh sorry I didn't see ... George what are you doing here?"

"Brian invited me to come for a drink with him and Miss Gilmore .. I mean Jen. I still can't get used to calling her by her first name."

Tilly forced a smile.

"You would of been invited along but Jen said you were working tonight. What time do you finish?"

"Erm ... I'm covering for someone so whenever they turn up really."

"Well you can join us after then yeah?"

"I dunno I might just ..."

"Come on please? It's not the same without you there."

It's not like her and Jen would be on their own Brian and George would be there too and she couldn't really avoid Jen forever.

"Yeah ok, it should only be an hour or so."

"Great I'll let them know, see you in a bit."

Tilly clocked in and walked out behind the bar, straight away she looked for Jen who was already staring at her, offering a small smile which Tilly returned butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

Once she had served everyone that wanted a drink Brian waved her over. "Hey beautiful how's it going?"

"Ok ta."

"Good George said you finish soon so your gonna join us for a couple yeah?"

"Yep got nothing better to do."

"Oh I'm flattered."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know that honey, your delighted to spend time with me I can tell by the way your eyes sparkle whenever you look in my direction."

Tilly chuckled "I don't know how I ever lived without you."

"Can't miss what you don't know angel cake but now we've met we're destined to be gay friends forever, nothing we can do about it now I'm afraid." He said jokingly pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

"You nutter."

"I'll be right back looks like George needs rescuing from clingy Carl." Brian said heading over to George who looked uncomfortable getting chatted up by a tall lanky bloke.

"I thought you were working all night so I bought your bag of books with me." Jen said softly handing it over to Tilly.

"Oh thanks." She replied awkwardly. "I can't believe I forgot it."

"Well you did leave in a hurry."

"I had to I was going to be late." She replied not meeting Jen's eyes.

"If you say so."

"Look I better get back to work."

For the next forty minutes Tilly was serving chatting with customers and wiping down the bar but every so often she couldn't help but glance at Jen quickly who would catch her everytime and smile happily, she couldn't take her eyes off Tilly and was glad that Tilly seemed to have the same problem.

"Hey Till's finally joining us then?"

"Yeah sorry, I had to clock out and they were trying to make me work tomorrow." She apologised as she took a seat next to George and opposite Jen.

"You've graced us with your presence now anyway so that's all that matters. My round everyone want the usual?"

"Nah I might have something different." George replied.

"Well come with me and choose, I know what your like you take forever."

Tilly's head turned quickly toward George, if he went up with Brian then she would be left on her own with Jen and she didn't think she could handle that yet. "Why don't you just have your usual?"

"Because I fancy something different." He shrugged walking off with Brian.

Jen watched Tilly fidget nervously. "You ok?"

"Yeah fine."

"You don't look it."

Tilly didn't awnser.

"Tilly ... I wanted to talk to you when we were alone ... About the other night."

Tilly sighed "There's nothing to talk about, nothing happend."

"But it nearly did Tilly ... And I really wanted it to, from what I remember you seemed to want it to ... If Brian hadn't of walked in can you honestly say that you would of still stopped?"

Tilly knew the awnser was no she wouldn't of stopped but she didn't want to admit it. "On second thoughts I should really be revising now, tell Brian and George I'll catch them later in the week." She said grabbing her bag and rushing out of the club, once outside she took deep breaths to calm down her heart rate. When she reached her car she felt a hand on her arm forcing her to turn around.

"Tilly please don't leave me without awnsers again."

"Jen ... we're a non starter ok? I'm sorry."

Still not letting go of Tilly's arm, Jen stepped closer. "So what was the other night about? You know I'm still crazy about you and I think you still feel something for me. I know I messed up before and I'm so sorry, please give me one more ..."

"No Jen." Tilly replied angrily "You broke my heart before and I'm not giving you the chance to mess me about again."

"I'm sorry."

Tilly laughed and shook her head "Jen have you ever smashed a plate or a cup before?"

Jen frowned wondering where this was going "yes."

"Right and if you said sorry a million times it wouldn't just magically put itself together again and be fine would it?"

"No." Jen whispered.

"Well it's the same with peoples hearts, you can't just say sorry and expect everything to be ok. We should just stay friends."

"I can't Tilly, I can't stand around and watch you be with other people, watch them kiss you and touch you. Doing everything I should be doing. Just give me one more chance to show you I've changed, I'll do anything you want. Let me do what I never got the chance to before."

"What do you mean?"

"Come out for dinner with me? On a date. Let me do it properly this time."


	14. Chapter 14

Jen stood watching Tilly nervously for an awnser, saw the red heads mouth open and close uncertainly. She couldn't stand it if Tilly said no to this, in her head it had been spontanius and romantic but now she felt like it was a stupid idea and Tilly was definatly going to refuse.

"I've got a feeling your going to shoot this idea down Tilly but before you do can you just... instead of thinking of all the reasons why you shouldn't do this can you think of reasons why you should?"

Tilly had been listing all the reasons why it was such a bad idea, she couldn't trust Jen not to break her heart again, drop her when she got bored, take her for granted and so on. But there was reasons in her head why she should give her another chance, there was still a connection between them the other night had proved that and Tilly had spent the last two years trying to forget her teacher but no matter how many people she had used to try and get over Jen it always failed she would end up popping in to her head anyway.

While she was thinking Jen spoke up again "I have spent the last couple of years with you constantly on my mind Tilly, wishing I could go back in time and change all the things I did that hurt you in anyway. Seeing you again was complete bliss I'd hadn't felt so happy in a long time, I thought it was fate ... that I'd been given a second chance to do things right with you. Those times I would see you and Courtney together ... I hated it and tried pretending to myself I wasn't bothered... My head would say 'Who gives a shit if she's moved on.' but my heart would whisper 'You do stupid."

That made Tilly smile which Jen took as a good sign, she stepped closer and ran her thumb across Tilly's cheek. "I can't pretend that I'm fine with just being friends anymore ... not when all I can think about when I see you is how much I want you, how much I want to kiss you ... how much I wish you were mine again... it's fine if you want time to think about it but can you just let me know if there's a chance? Even if it's a tiny one?... Please?"

"Jen ... I.."

"Hey! What are you two doing out here? I've been looking all over for you. Brian got the drinks so let's not waste them eh." George said cheerfully, "Your not leaving are ya Till's?" He asked as he noticed her car keys in her hand.

"... Er ... No, I was just putting my books in there so I don't forget them later."

"Oh cool, come on then let's get back inside."

Tilly quickly dumped the bag of books in the back seat and walked beside George giving Jen no choice but to follow. As they sat back at the table Brian looked at Jen and mouthed 'Sorry.'

"Brian is scared to go rock climbing Till's you'll do it with me won't ya?"

"Your going rock climbing?" Tilly frowned.

"Yeah once a year I do something I've never done before."

"Yeah ok, I'll give it a go, maybe Brian can go next time when you decide to go bungee jumping or something." Tilly said smiling at Brian who raised his eyebrows at her.

"Er I do not think so thank you very much I came in to this world because of a broken piece of rubber and like fuck am I leaving the same way."

Tilly and George both burst in to laughter, Jen stayed quiet and carried on drinking. When Tilly and George went off to the toilet Brian turned to Jen who was watching Tilly.

"Hey you ok?"

Jen shrugged.

"I tried stopping George from going to find you both but he was worried ... Did he interrupt anything?"

"Not like that we were just talking ... Well I was anyway and just as I was about to get an awnser up pops George. You and him are both moment killers do you know that?"

Brian smiled and then frowned. "An awnser to what?"

"I asked her to try again ... go on a date with me, do things right this time."

"Wow ... she didn't say no though Jen."

"She didn't say yes either, in fact she didn't say anything did she, didn't get the chance." She muttered finishing the rest of her drink.

"When they get back I'll get George to give me a hand with the drinks give you two some more time to talk alone."

"Thanks Brian but I think ..."

"Sssssshhhh their coming."

George and Tilly sat down again still talking about rock climbing and the other things George had done.

"My round then guys ... again ... George want to give me a hand please?"

"No need, the woman Tilly covered for is sending over a round on the house."

"Is she? What a ... lovely gesture."

Jen smiled knowing that wasn't what he wanted to say, Brian stood up and offered his hand to Jen. "Will you dance with me Jennifer?" He asked in a over the top posh voice.

"Why?" She asked puzzled.

"Jesus woman just do as your told for once." He said grabbing her hand and pulling her up. Then he playfully slapped George around the head.

"Ask the lady to dance Georgie boy, does no one here have manners?"

"Say's the bloke that farts and blames it on the neighbour." George replied with a smile.

"It was the neighbour he can only afford beans on his pitifull wage ... and we musn't hold it against him."

"Bullshit." George laughed holding his hand out to Tilly who took it. All four of them made their way on to the dance floor and Jen whispered "What are you playing at?"

"Just trust me ok, I know what I'm doing."

George and Tilly were giggling as they were dancing as soon as the music changed to a slow song Brian shouted out "Change partner's!" He grabbed George and pulled him away from Tilly and shoved Jen towards her.

Catching Jen so she didn't fall to the floor they both felt a jolt of electricity shoot through them.

"Sorry." Jen said softly looking deep in to Tilly's eyes.

Tilly gazed in to Jen's dark chocolate eyes and knew for certain in that moment that no one had ever come close to what she had felt for the brunette ... what she still felt.

"Don't worry it wasn't your fault ... I would have a go at Brian but he'd probably blame his neighbour." Tilly joked making Jen smile.

"We don't have to dance if you don't want to, we can go back to the table and down our free drinks?" Jen said hoping Tilly would rather dance.

"And then Brian and George's?"

"If you like." She replied doing her best to hide her disappointment and walking toward the table, Tilly grabbed her hand.

"One dance first wouldn't hurt though would it?"

"No ... not at all." Jen beamed.

Sliding her arms around Tilly's waist she pulled her close, her smile becoming wider as Tilly put her arms around her neck, they slowly danced together to Emelie Sande's Read All About It. Halfway through Tilly layed her head on Jens shoulder her lips so close that Jen could feel her breath on her neck. The fact that Tilly was dancing with her was a good thing though right? It must mean there's still some feelings there? Taking in a shaky breath Jen whispered. "Have you thought anymore about what I said earlier?"

"Yes."

"And what were you thinking?" Jen asked nervously.

" ... That me and you wernt always a good thing, all the secrets we had to keep didn't exactly help and neither did your alternating between hot and cold ..."

"I know and I'm so ..."

"But! we're away from that place and those people now, so maybe we could try again. I'm not saying all is forgiven and forgotten but let's just see how it goes, take it slow."

Jen looked at her not even daring to believe what she just heard. "So what are you saying exactly? Just so I don't misunderstand."

"I'm saying ... What time do you want to pick me up."


	15. Chapter 15

They had arranged to meet the following night at six, Jen would pick Tilly up and they would go for their date to the cinema. Jen was so nervous she couldn't concentrate at work she just kept watching the clock wishing time would go faster so she could see Tilly.

Brian walked in to her office without knocking. "Hey boss lady, I'm going for lunch now you wanna join me?"

"Thanks for knocking."

"I'm your best friend I don't need to." He pouted. "So lunch?"

"I can't I've still got to read through all these auction details."

Brian stared at her then grinned. "Didn't you start reading that over an hour ago?"

She blushed slightly. "I'm just triple checking everything, I don't want anything going wrong."

"Which tanslates in to I haven't even started reading it yet because my mind has been on more important things such as sexy little red heads, right?"

Jen's blush got worse knowing she had been rumbled she dropped all pretences. "I'm just so nervous Brian, I really don't want to mess this up there's no way I'll ever get another chance."

Brian put his hand supportively on Jen's shoulder. "Listen, just remember that she has agreed to go on a date with you so there is obviously still feelings there, plenty of women would love to be in your position."

Jen scowled at the other women comment making him chuckle. "Come on we both know she has a little fan club there's no point denying it. Just remember out of all of them she chose you." He winked as he left the office.

Jen leant back in her chair smiling to herself, Brian was right Tilly had picked her over everyone else. At twenty past five Jen couldn't stop herself any longer and rang Tilly's number to see if she still wanted to meet up, holding her breath she waited for Tilly to awnser.

"Hello?"

"Hi Tilly ... it's me ... Erm Jen." She babbled nervously.

"I know I can recognise your voice." Tilly teased. "Plus your name came up on my screen."

"Of course it did I don't know why I even said that."

Tilly chuckled. "So what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you still ... well if you was ..." Jen sighed annoyed at not being able to get the words out. "For fuck sake." She muttered under her breath which Tilly heard.

"Jennifer Gilmore! Watch your language." She teased.

"Sorry I'm just ..."

"Nervous?"

"Yeah ... sorry."

"Don't apologise, I am too."

"Really? But you still want to right?"

"Yes of course I do, but I am running a bit late I had to finish an essay so shall I just meet you at the gallery and we go from there?"

"Yeah ok ... So I'll see you soon?"

"Yep ... bye then."

"Bye."

Jen ended the call feeling considerably calmer than before probably because she knew Tilly was definatly turning up now.

When half six came Jen was still in her office finishing up some paperwork when Brian popped his head in again. "Oi! Aint you suppoed to be meeting Dr Tilly? Everything ok?"

"Yeah it's all good, she wanted to meet here because she's running late. I thought I'd get a bit more done while I'm waiting."

Brian looked over his shoulder "Waitings over sweet cheeks, a certain red headed angel has just walked through the doors."

Jen shot up from her chair quickly smoothing down her clothes and hair. "Do I look ok?" She asked still focused on rearranging her bangles.

"You look stunning ... As always."

Jen looked up when she heard the voice and saw Tilly leaning against the door frame her eyes roaming Jen's body.

"Hey." Jen whispered taking notice of Tilly's appearence, the way her top clung to her in all the right places and her jeans hugged her waist.

"Hi."

Brian began doing a victory dance behind Tilly's back Jen frowning at him. "So shall we get going then?" She asked

"Yeah if your ready."

They left the gallery together Jen punching Brians arm as she passed because he was making kissing noises, walking towards her car Jen could feel the butterflies in her stomach but it felt more like bats the closer she got to the red head.

Unlocking the passenger side first she held open the door for Tilly who chuckled "Thank you Parker." She said poshly.

Once she was sat in the drivers seat Jen started the car and began to drive, knowing the woman she was completely in love with was only inches away Jen took in a shaky breath.

"You ok?"

"Yeah fine." She smiled.

They made small talk Jen telling Tilly how she had moved down this way to stay with Brian until she had saved enough money for a deposit on her own place, how she had started off waiting on tables until a job became available at the gallery and Brian had recommended her. "And that's pretty much it really, I just work, eat and sleep. Pretty boring eh?"

Tilly watched Jen thoughtfully "Actually it sounds like you closed yourself off to the world. Why not date, just have fun?"

"I didn't see the point."

"To meet someone special."

"I already had ... I'd just messed it up everytime." She glanced at Tilly and they shared a smile. "Did you meet anyone special?" Jen asked nervously.

"Not anyone special no." Tilly replied.

Jen felt relieved at that and decided to play it safe and change the subject.

"So ... Have you been working at the hospital anymore?"

"Yeah, treated a couple of small cuts and bruises." Tilly was silent for a second and looked as though she was thinking.

"What's wrong."

"I was just thinking about this elderly man who came in, he didn't have long left and I showed his wife to his room so she could say goodbye."

"That poor woman."

Tilly nodded "When she got there he held her hand and told her there was something she should know, she told him that nothing mattered anymore she just wanted him to be at peace. He insisted on continuing saying he wanted to die with a clear conscience ... He told her he had been having an affair with her brothers wife for 20 years."

"Oh my god are you serious what happened?"

"She leant over him and kissed his head gently and whispered 'I know ... That's why I poisoned you."

It took Jen a moment to realise Tilly had been messing her about, slapping her leg payfully she smiled. "You had me going then." While Tilly was still laughing.

Arriving at the cinema they went inside to see what films were on, Tilly wanted to watch the horror but Jen wanted to watch the romance.

"How do we decide?" Jen asked.

"You could just agree with me and we can spend the next couple of hours jumping out of or skin, come on it will be fun."

"Fine." Jen huffed, she knew she would do anything the red head wanted as long as she got to spend time with her. Tilly insisted on buying the popcorn and drinks as Jen was paying for the tickets.

"I asked you out so I should pay for it all." Jen whined.

"Yeah and that's understandable ... In 1930 Jen, showing your age a bit now huh? We now in the 21'st century."

Narrowing her eyes at Tilly she couldn't help but smile.

"Come on let's get inside, it will be starting soon."

Jen's smile faded, she really didn't like horrors, Tilly noticed the look on her face.

"We don't have to go in if you don't want to, I'll go get us tickets for the romance one."

As Tilly began to walk off Jen grabbed her arm "No ... It's fine, let's just watch this one."

"Are you sure?"

Jen nodded, Tilly smiled and held her hand leading her to the room on the right. Jen grinning the whole time happy she was touching her in some way, the grin only got bigger when they sat down and Tilly didn't let go.

The movie started a few minutes after they had sat down, so they didn't have much time for anymore small talk. Half an hour later the killing started and Tilly felt Jens hand tighten around her own evertime the killer showed up on screen. After a certain graphic and gory scene Tilly began to rub small circles on the back of Jen's hand with her thumb in an attempt to calm her nerves a bit.

Jen's heart began to speed up when she felt Tilly's touch, it definatly took her mind off what was happening in the film.

Over an hour later the movie ended much to Jen's disappointment, sitting with Tilly's hand entwined with hers had been pure bliss. They had to let go when Tilly had to search through her bag to look for her phone. Walking back to the car listening to Tilly go over the ending of the film still shocked at the twist that the killer was one of the teenagers long lost sister.

"You didn't seem as jumpy as I thought you would be." Tilly said while putting on her seatbelt.

Jen didn't want to tell her it was because she was more interested in Tilly's thumb making it's journey back and forth over her hand loving every last tingle it left on her skin.

"What can I say I'm tougher than I though." She smiled, looking deeply in to Tillys eyes she really didn't want the night to end yet.

"Do you want to get a drink before I take you home?"

"I'd love to but I've got an early start tomorrow."

Jen felt a little disappointed. "Oh ... Ok. Another time maybe."

"Are you asking for a second date?" Tilly teased.

Jen's eyes lingered on Tilly's lips and she softly replied. "Yes ... I'm hoping I'm lucky enough to take you out again?"

Tilly tucked a piece of Jen's hair behind her ear, Jen closing her eyes at the touch. "Luck has nothing to do with it ... I really enjoyed tonight."

"So did I... So is that a yes?"

"How can I say no to someone who sits through something that gory but hates horrors." Tilly grinned.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Your fingernails are probably still embedded in my hand." She teased. "Anyway are we going to sit here all night or are you going to drop me home?"

"If I had my way we would sit here all night but seeing as your moaning about having an early start I suppose I better take you home... Can I take you out tomorrow?"

"Someones eager." She joked. "Sure what do you want to do?"

"I'll think of something."

"Ok, turn left here."

Jen pulled up outside Tilly's place, which was on university grounds, to soon for her liking.

"I'll walk you to your room."

"You don't have to..."

"I know I want to."

They walked slowly Jen finally getting the courage to hold Tilly's hand again. Once outside the door Jen didn't want to let go and neither did Tilly.

After a few minutes of awkward smiles and lingering looks Tilly whispered "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"I guess you will." Jen smiled. "Thank you for tonight... for giving me another chance."

"My pleasure."

Jen wanted more than anything to kiss those lucsious lips that were in front of her but didn't want to be rejected and went for a hug instead. Pulling away slowly their faces only inches apart, their gazes alternating between eachothers eyes and lips. Unable to resist any longer Jen began to close the distance between them, both closing their eyes a split second before their lips touched.

The kiss was soft and lingering at first but desire soon took over as the kisses sped up Tilly entered her tongue making Jen moan, someone down the corridor opened there door bringing them back to reality.

Jen cleared her throat nervously while Tilly just smiled.

"I really better get in. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definatly." Jen replied kissing Tilly's cheek and watching her walk inside.


	16. Chapter 16

**i am so so sorry for taking so long x**

The next day Tilly was sat in class rolling her pen over her bottom lip thinking about the kiss her and Jen had shared last night, reliving the moment when their lips touched and everything just made sense again, it seemed so right just like before all that trouble back in Hollyoaks in the past, it was like the old Jen was back the kind, passionate and fun one. She had woken that morning to find a text from Jen saying 'Hey you, hope you had a good nights sleep. Text me later when your not busy so I can give you a call? xxxx'

Tilly had read it with a smile unable to reply when she realised she was going to be late.

"Miss Evans? ... Matilda!? Are you listening?"

Tilly quickly looked at the teacher who had his arms crossed and was glaring at her obviously annoyed.

"Yes Mr Taylor."

"Really? ... So what's the awnser?"

'Shit.' Tilly thought to herself 'How the fuck am going to get out of this one.'

"Erm ... I didn't understand the question."

Her friend Charlotte snorted with laughter which she quickly stifled due to Mr Taylor raising his eyebrows in her direction.

"That's because I didn't ask one, you would of known that if you were listening but nice try Miss Evans, from now on though I would appreciate it if you did your daydreaming in your own time and not during one of my lessons. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Good."

Once the lesson was over Tilly had a free period so used it to do more studying in the library. Then after she had attended two more lessons she was done for the day and pulled out her phone to text Jen back on the way to her room.

Meanwhile Jen had started her day in an extremely good mood still happy with the way the night before had ended, she had been unable to stop herself from sending Tilly a text that morning and by the afternoon her happiness had started to disappear when she still hadn't received a text back which made her worry that maybe Tilly regretted their kiss and was now ignoring her. After cleaning her flat thoroughly to try to take her mind off of it she sat on her sofa and put on some daytime show but ended up nibbling away at her fingernails, unable to stand not knowing if Tilly was ok with her or not she grabbed her phone to text her again but before she could it vibrated in her hand.

1 New Message.

'Hey Jen just finished my classes for the day and all my work, sorry for not replying earlier kind of woke late and didn't have time. Xxx'

Breathing out a sigh of relief Jen's smile and happiness returned as she dialled Tilly's mobile number and waited for an awnser.

Tilly was surprised to hear her phone ring so soon after she sent the text but pleased all the same.

"Hey you, someone's keen."

"Hi, yeah well I was sitting around with nothing better to do so I thought I'd give you a call."

"Oh really? Because the call came quite quickly after the text I sent that's all."

"Well maybe the phone was sort of stuck to my hand all day waiting for your text ... maybe."

Tilly chuckled. "Ok, in that case ... maybe ... I'm sorry for not getting back to you straight away but in my defence I have been major busy today."

"Maybe ... your forgiven."

"Only maybe? How can I change it to definatley forgiven?"

"Ooooo I'm not sure ... Maybe meet for our date a bit earlier?"

"How much earlier?"

"Now?" Jen asked hopefully.

Tilly grinned to herself and bit down on her bottom lip. "Well I suppose if I rearrange that and move that to next week instead then I suppose I can make myself available if it means being forgiven."

"Great!" Jen replied. "I'll come pick you up now then?"

"See you in a bit."

"Ok bye."

Jen put the phone down, quickly checked her reflection in the mirror, grabbed her keys and rushed out of the door. As she was about to get in the car she heard someone calling her name, turning to see who it was she saw Brian walking towards her.

"I've been ringing your house phone all day woman!"

"Sorry I've been tidying up and everything, why is everything ok?"

"Yeah I just wanted to know how your date went last night and when I didn't hear from you I got worried that it went badly and you were upset or something."

Jen smiled. "No it went great."

"Ooh good I'm so pleased ... did the good doctor recommend bed rest last night?"

"Brian!"

"What else would of put that huge grin on your face? You've been a complete virgin these last couple of years, was you nervous?"

Rolling her eyes Jen replied. "Nothing like that happened, we're taking things slow."

"So if nothing happened at all then why did you have such a huge smile and a glint in your eye hmm?"

" ... We kissed." She murmered causing him to punch the air and whoop.

"She must be good if it only takes a quick kiss to make you look like that ... Wait where exactly did she kiss you." He teased earning himself a slap.

"I'm just kidding, I love the girl if I was straight I'd totally go for her."

"Like you would have a chance she is way out of your league."

"Actually she told me I'm perfect in every way, that I'm more gorgeous than a million stars shining in the night sky and if she thought there was even a tiny chance I fancied her she would spend the rest of her life doing her best to make me happy."

"You fucking liar." Jen laughed.

"Well she said I looked nice once so it was close." He chuckled. "So are you two seeing eachother again?"

"I'm on my way to pick her up now actually."

"Two dates in two days? Wow it is going well ain't it."

"Yeah I really hope so." Jen said glancing at her watch.

"Right I'll let you go and pick up your woman which your obviously itching to do." He smiled giving her a peck on the cheek. "It's so nice to see you genuinley happy Jen."

"Thanks, Tilly's the only one with the power to do it."

They said their goodbyes and Jen drove to the university to pick Tilly up, by the time she arrived the red head was already outside sitting on the steps talking to Charlotte, when she see Jens car she stood up giving her friend a quick hug goodbye and walked quickly toward the jeep, smiling at Jen as she climbed in to the passengers seat.

"Hey sorry I'm late Brian caught me just as I was leaving and he can waffle on a bit."

Tilly laughed. "Waffle? That word hasn't been used since the 1940's but I'll let it go. Your forgiven for being late Charlotte kept me company anyway while I waited for you, I take it you don't drive as quickly as your ring someone back." She teased.

Jen just smiled, she wanted to ask who Charlotte was exactly but didn't want to ruin their second date with her jealousy.

"It wasn't just my fault the traffic was bad too."

"Yeah excuses excuses. Where are we going anyway?"

"That Matilda is a surprise."


	17. Chapter 17

Tilly had spent the last 20 minutes trying to get Jen to tell her where they were going but she just shook her head and refused to awnser.

"Oh come on just a little clue then?"

"Nope."

"How are you going to even know if it's something I like if you won't tell me what we're going to be doing?"

"I'll just have to wait and see if you enjoy yourself."

"And what if I don't?"

"I owe you another date." Jen smirked.

"That's just crafty that is. What if I do enjoy it?"

"Then you owe me another date."

Tilly laughed. "So either way you get another date?"

"I think it's a fair deal." Jen shrugged.

"I think it's a conniving plan to get your own way ... but that's just my opinion."

"Maybe ... But a deal's a deal and I'm a woman of my word so we can't go back on it now."

Tilly shook her head but looked amused all the same.

"How's Brian doing anyway?"

"He's ok, nosey as usual." Jen muttered.

"Nosey?"

"He wanted to know how last night went and everything, it was just a lot of questions."

"Such as?"

Jen looked kind of hesitant. "I don't think you want to know."

"Let me guess, he wanted to know if we had slept together?"

Jen nodded. "He didn't mean anything by it he's just ..."

"It's ok, he's just Brian." Tilly shrugged. "I still love him ... he really makes me laugh and he seems like a good friend."

"He really is. He's always singing your praises."

"Yeah well we have a deal going that we make eachother seem better than we really are." She joked.

Jen stopped at a red light and took the oppurtunity to glance at Tilly who was staring out the window for clues as to where they were going. Jen watched the way her beautiful blue eyes were darting around, her red hair blowing in the light wind that was coming through the open window, the way she licked her lips before turning toward Jen to say something but whatever it was didn't make it's way from her mouth as she saw the way the brunette was watching her.

Jen reached out her hand to tuck a piece of Tilly's hair behind her ear, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart at such a small touch. Brushing her fingers lightly down her cheek until she reached those plump, full lips she loved so much and running her forefinger gently across the bottom one making Tilly take a sharp breath, Jen looked in to the red heads eyes at the gasp ... slowly leaning in for a kiss ... their lips almost touching.

BEEP!

Tilly jumped at the noise of the car behind them that was getting angry at the hold up, looking out the front window she laughed. "Lights green ... your holding up traffic Gilmore. Bloody elderly drivers." She teased.

"Ha ha very funny." Jen replied sarcastically. She started driving again but couldn't stop herself from glancing at Tilly every so often.

"Are we there yet? Tilly whined.

Jen laughed. "Sorry I didn't realise I had a moany ten year old in the car."

"Moany? I'm not moaning just wondering if we're going to arrive before I become middle aged that's all."

"It's just round this next corner."

Tilly sat up straighter craning her neck to try and see where Jen had decided to take her for their second date.

She stared for a moment at all the people gliding around. "Ice skating?"

"Yeah ... I thought it would be fun ... But if you don't want to I can try and think of something else to do."

"No! It's not that I don't want to or anything, I think it's a really sweet thing to come up with, it's just ... I've never been ice skating before and you have to wear trainers with blades on the bottom of them ... I'm going to leave here with a criminal record for multiple attempted murders."

"No you won't you'll be fine I'll teach you."

"What how to fall with style?"

"Amongst other things, besides if you hurt anyone your qualified enough to stitch them up anyway."

"Your such a smart arse, Come on then let's give it a go."

Jen paid and rented the skates then they made their way on to the ice rink, almost straight away Tilly lost her balance and fell on her arse making Jen chuckle and smoothly glide over to give her a hand up.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Jen smiled, any excuse to touch Tilly was fine by her. "Just concentrate on your balance first."

"Yeah incase you hadn't noticed I think it's the balance part I'm finding difficult."

"Ok." Jen stood behind her placing her hands either side of Tilly's waist holding her steady. "Now place your weight on your right leg and push, act as though your rollerblading and I'll hold on to make sure you don't fall."

Tilly did as she was told and tried her best to concentrate on what she was doing instead of the feel of Jens hands on her which was proving to be quite difficult. Slipping again Jen quickly tightened her hold and felt a tingle rush through her body as her hand had accidently touched the bare skin of Tilly's stomach as she slid.

Jen had forgotten just how smooth and soft Tilly's skin was, feeling rather breathless she stuttered out an apology. "... Sorry ... I didn't ... that was an accident."

Tilly grinned at the blush that was forming on Jens cheeks. "Bringing me down here on false pretences, saying you'll teach me to skate and all the time you were just trying to cop a feel."

Jen tutted. "Fine if that's what you think then teach yourself but don't blame me when you go home with a bruised backside."

"No let's carry on ... I wasn't complaining." She replied returning Jen's hands to her waist making the brunettes smile widen.

They spent the next hour on the ice laughing at Tilly's attempts to spin on the spot, sharing lingering glances when they were close to eachother.

"Do you fancy going for a coffee or something?" Jen asked as they left hoping for some more time together.

"I said I'd meet George ... but your more than welcome to come, we're having a drink in that pub round the corner from my university."

"No it's ok I don't want to impose ..."

"You won't be." Tilly smiled. "Plus I want you to come."

"If you insist."

"I do." She replied standing on tip toe and planting a quick kiss on Jen's lips. "I think I owe you a drink for showing me how to skate anyway ... it was fun I enjoyed it so thank you."

"You know what this means don't you?"

"What?"

"You owe me another date." Jen smirked.

Tilly tutted. "Fine you twisted my arm, but I decide what we do this time."

"Deal."

They got in the jeep and drove to the pub, Tilly ringing George to tell him they were on their way.

"Ok ... yeah ... see you in a bit."

"Was he ok with me tagging along?"

"Yeah and Brians there too."

"Great, more questions coming my way about us then."

Tilly laughed. "Yeah ... I might even tell him about your wandering hands."

"I told you that was an accident, are you ever going to let it go?"

"When you stop blushing ... then maybe."

Pulling up in the car park outside the pub they began walking towards it, Jen taking a nervous breath in and reached out to hold Tilly's hand breathing a sigh of relief as she felt the red heads hand tighten around her own.

Unknown to them both, Courtney sat in her car watching them disappear inside with an extremely pissed off look on her face.


	18. Chapter 18

It had been almost a week since Courtney had seen Jen and Tilly walk hand in hand inside the pub, she had watched them meet with Brian and George, laughing and joking, grinding her teeth every time the two women had found an excuse to touch eachother. She had driven off to stop herself marching in there and confronting them, which would of made her look like a jealous ex in the process, she felt so angry Tilly had insisted her and Jen were only friends and now look at them, they were obviously together staring in to eachothers eyes shyly, sharing small smiles it made her feel sick that Tilly wasn't even a little bit like that with her when they were together, she always had to fight for her attention or beg her to come over and stay the night but Jen could do it all in a matter of weeks and it wasn't fair.

Jen walked in to her office with a big smile on her face, things were going amazingly with Tilly, they had now had five dates together consisting of a dinner one evening, visiting a gallery on another day and Tilly had insisted on taking Jen bowling. They still hadn't slept together but that didn't bother Jen at all, every date had ended in a kiss and it had got to the point where they could share one at any random moment which Jen was enjoying very much.

They had agreed to meet up for lunch today as Jen only had to work until one signing a few things and Tilly had no classes so would meet her at the gallery. Reminiscing about a certain kiss they had shared last night Jen sat at her desk with her head back not noticing Brian walking in to her office.

"Excuse me have you seen Jen Gilmore?"

Jen lifted her head to look at him confused. "What the fuck are you on about?"

"Oh sorry Jen I didn't recognise you without a red head attatched to your face." He teased making her blush.

"Shut up."

"I would tell you to do the same but it seems only Tilly has the power to make your mouth want do something other than talk."

"Your not funny."

"Yes I am you just don't appreciate it. So when are you two seeing eachother again?"

Jen remained quiet making Brian smile and move closer. "It's today isn't it? ... God you two are like some lovesick school girls. You need to get over your shyness and just fall in to bed."

"Brian! It's not about sex thank you very much, I enjoy spending time with her ... she makes me happy."

"I'd noticed, your back to the old Jen ... The one that smiles and has a twinkle in her eye and I know that's down to Dr Tilly and I am grateful to have you back. But seriously it's been over two years since you got any, I thought you would be ripping her clothes off and foaming at the mouth or something."

"You do have a way with words don't you. Tilly was the last person I slept with and yeah it's been a long time obviously but I don't want to rush in to it I want to enjoy our time together ... I've waited two years for us to be back together and I can wait as long as it takes for anything like that to happen."

Brian looked at her closely. "Your nervous."

"No I'm not."

"Jen don't lie to me, I know you and your nervous about having sex with her. So come on talk to aunty Brian." He said softly sitting on the corner of her desk.

"I'm not nervous ... I'm just a bit worried, Tilly's been with a few other people since we broke up and ... what if I'm not ... Oh I don't know how to explain it."

"What if your total shit in bed compared to the half of London that Tilly's slept with?" Came Courtney's voice snidingly from the door way.

"Er this is a private conversation if you don't mind." Brian replied angrily.

"Then you shouldn't leave the door open should you. I came to drop these reports in and I wanted a word with you Jen actually ... In private." She added when Brian didn't move."

He looked at Jen questioningly. "I'll be fine." He stood and left closing the door behind him and pulling out his mobile and dialling Tilly's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey gorgeous it's Brian."

"Hey! What's up?"

"Courtney just showed up at the gallery wanting a private word with Jen ... and she didn't look in the mood to celebrate."

"Shit ... Ok I'm coming over now. I'm driving so give me five minutes."

"Thanks sweet, I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

Back in the office Courtney was glaring at the brunette and for the first time in her life Jen understood the saying 'If looks could kill.'

"I thought you wanted to talk not have a staring contest."

Courtney sneered. "I want to know how long you and Tilly have been seeing eachother."

"I don't see how that's any of your buisness."

"You both told me nothing was going on between you two ... that you were just friends but mates don't hold hands walking in to a pub or look at eachother the way you two do."

"Have you been following us or something?" Jen asked feeling slightly unnerved.

"Don't be stupid, I just saw you at the pub ... I'm not some kind of freak that can't get over her ex."

"You could of fooled me." Jen muttered.

"We were fine before you turned up!" Courtney shouted. "You ruined everything!"

"If you were in such a brilliant relationship then me showing up in Tilly's life again wouldn't of done anything major. So stop kidding yourself Courtney you know you two wern't ever going to be anything more than a fling."

Courtney's face hardened as Jen's words hit a nerve. "Maybe your right ... Maybe to Tilly it was just a fling ... But while you were sitting at home moping over the girl you lost, she was with me. While you were wishing you could touch her, it was my hands that were running over her skin and while you where imagining taking her to bed it was me laying on top of her and my name she was screaming." She whispered enjoying the hurt she was causing.

Jen was hating what Courtney was saying, hated the images that came in to her head with each word that she spoke, without thinking Jen's anger got the better of her as she back handed Courtney across the face, stunning the blonde for a second before she lunged at Jen and the fight broke out, punching and slapping, pushing and shoving even hair pulling until the office door flung open and Tilly and Brian rushed in pulling them apart.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Brian asked angrily.

"Ask her she started it." Courtney growled pointing at Jen.

"What are you five? It doesn't matter who started it ... look at the state of you both, if the boss finds out about this you've both lost your jobs. Courtney come with me let's get you cleaned up."

Wiping the blood from her nose Courtney sarcastically smiled at Jen. "Yeah let's leave the two lovebirds alone eh." As she walked past Tilly she leaned towards her and spoke in to her ear watching Jen for a reaction. "You know this all started because your girlfriend over there is jealous that you've been with other people since her right?"

Tilly glanced at Jen who continued to glare at Courtney as she left with Brian. "Have you got a first aid box?" Tilly asked a little sternly.

"Why?"

"For your lip and she's scratched your face pretty bad ... your bleeding."

"Oh." Jen replied touching them. "Don't worry about it."

"Jen is there a fucking first aid box or not!?"

"In the cupboard."

Tilly grabbed it, opened it up and started to get some stuff out to clean Jen's cuts.

"Ow! That hurts!"

"Serves you right then doesn't it." She replied angrily still not being gentle.

"She was winding me up ... saying all this crap about you."

"Then you should of just ignored her, this exactly what she wanted."

" ... She was smirking at me telling me how when I didn't have you she did ... going on about touching you, I just got angry."

Tilly sighed. "It was probably mostly lies ... I already told you that we hardly ever done anything and then we were over, I didn't want a relationship like she did. How did she find out anyway?"

"She overheard me telling Brian I was nervous about us going to the next level."

Tilly smiled and became more gentle. "Don't worry so am I."

Jen was still angry at everything that had just happened. "Really? Even after all the practice you've had?"

Tilly frowned and stopped cleaning Jens cuts. "What's that supposed to mean?"

" You've been with half of London apparently."

"Exactly Jen, apparently. Courtney's word I suppose? If you really believe what comes out of her mouth and that I'm the local slag then it's best we just call it a day." Tilly said angrily as she threw the first aid box on the desk and stormed out slamming the door shut behind her.


End file.
